Tag Archives: negotiation

What’s the alternative to mediation? Meet the European Board Game Going Global

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Responding to @Massimiliano Ferrari’s recent post sharing @Dr. Anna Maria Bernard’s powerful insights about digital conflicts in Basilicata. Here’s what we’re seeing as Medianos spreads globally…

Massimiliano Ferrari’s sharing of Dr. Anna Maria Bernard’s insights from Basilicata Region perfectly captures what those who understand transformation are witnessing worldwide – the emerging need for approaches that naturally dissolve digital-age conflicts. Dr. Bernard’s experience with Medianos confirms what you may already be sensing as this remarkable method continues spreading across continents.

She writes about how “digital conflicts are the order of the day” and as you consider this, you might recognize the truth in her observation. Just last month, I watched a CEO and his teenage daughter discover something profound as they sat across from each other, both having believed the other “just doesn’t get it” about screen time boundaries. Traditional mediation would have had them negotiate rules and compromises. But what happened next was something that transforms everything.

In the past, families like theirs relied on authority-based solutions that inevitably left children feeling unheard and parents feeling frustrated. When conflicts arose over homework, curfews, or device usage, conversations naturally escalated into battles of will rather than becoming opportunities for deeper understanding. The tools available were limited to expensive counseling, theoretical parenting books, or time-consuming mediation processes that few families could access or sustain effectively.

Then the digital revolution changed everything, didn’t it? As Dr Bernard observes, we’re dealing with conflicts our parents never imagined: How much screen time creates balance? What about online privacy and safety? How do we manage social media wisely? The generational digital divide widened as children became native users while parents struggled to keep pace with change. These “digital conflicts” became daily occurrences, with the adolescent brain still developing and naturally impulsive constantly stimulated by digital temptations that multiply exponentially.

What she discovered in Basilicata, you’re now beginning to see replicated across Europe and beyond. Medianos – The Game isn’t just resolving these conflicts; it’s fundamentally transforming how families, schools, and even workplaces naturally approach disagreement.

That CEO and his daughter? Within two hours of facilitated gameplay, something remarkable began to unfold. By “playing” each other’s roles in a safe, structured environment, they started to understand perspectives they’d never allowed themselves to consider. The daughter experienced the weight of parental responsibility for digital safety, and the father felt the frustration of being constantly monitored and distrusted. When they returned to their original roles, their conversation had completely shifted – from positional bargaining to collaborative problem-solving that felt surprisingly natural.

This is the power Dr Bernard wrote about when she described how Medianos allows participants to “go beyond the conflict and enhance what you feel at the level of emotions, thoughts and behaviours.” And what’s truly exciting is how rapidly this approach continues spreading globally, creating transformation wherever it goes.

Created by Massimiliano Ferrari and supported by a rapidly expanding community of Ambassadors, Medianos is spreading across the world at unprecedented pace, and as it does, more people are discovering its effectiveness. Recent weeks have seen new Ambassadors recognized across Italy, Canada, France, Spain, Brasil, Latvia, Ecuador, and Albania.

I, Rory Gowers, as the newly appointed Australasian Medianos Ambassador and creator of the My-RESPECT-Ability negotiation framework, am curious to discover how this face-to-face board game experience will resonate with digital natives here in Australasia while delivering the profound results Dr Bernard described.

The game format creates what she calls “a safe, secure, and stimulating environment” where participants naturally develop genuine empathy through facilitated face-to-face interaction. Communication skills emerge organically as players learn active listening and assertive expression without it feeling like traditional training. Hidden needs surface safely as the game reveals unexpressed fears that fuel conflicts. Most importantly, players develop what I call “respect-ability” the expanding capacity to engage respectfully even during difficult conversations.

Dr Bernard’s observation that “gaming experience with Medianos was pivotal in translating theoretical concepts into practical skills” captures exactly why this approach succeeds where traditional methods struggle. In our screen-saturated world, bringing the power of gaming back to physical interaction creates genuine human connection that digital experiences simply cannot replicate.

The transformation extends far beyond individual families, doesn’t it? As she noted with the teachers in Basilicata who were “fascinated by the educational and formative opportunity,” we’re witnessing schools, workplaces, and communities naturally develop cultures of respectful engagement. When conflicts become catalysts for deeper understanding rather than relationship damage, entire organizational cultures begin to shift.

Imagine, if you will, boardrooms where disagreements become opportunities for innovation rather than positional battles. Picture classrooms where teachers and students collaborate through understanding rather than authority. Envision families where generational divides bridge naturally through shared gaming experiences that honour everyone’s perspective completely.

This is the future Dr Bernard glimpsed in Basilicata – and it’s spreading globally with increasing momentum. Her closing question resonates deeply, and you might find yourself wondering: “What strategies are you using to manage digital conflicts in the family or at school, or in the workplace?”

The answer, increasingly, is becoming Medianos – The Game. We’re actively preparing for launch in Australasia in Quarter 4 2025, bringing this proven approach to a region where digital conflicts are as prevalent as anywhere in the world, and where solutions are needed most.

As Dr Bernard concluded, “Open dialogue, empathy, emotional intelligence education and novel tools like Medianos are the key to transforming ‘digital conflicts’ into opportunities for growth and deeper bonds.” The enthusiasm she witnessed in Basilicata is now spreading across continents – one family, one school, one workplace at a time, creating lasting change.

For more information about bringing Medianos to your organisation or community, reach out to MyRespectAbility or respond to the post directly and discover what becomes possible.

What strategies are you using to transform conflict into connection? Join the conversation below and share what you’re discovering.

Author Biography

Rory Gowers is a Master of Dispute Resolution (MDR), Master of Education (MEd), certified Master NLP Practitioner, and intercultural mediator with deep experience leading transformative change across global business and community settings. Based in Greater Sydney, Australia, Rory helps leaders and organisations replace conflict cycles with clarity, cooperation, and lasting resolution.

As the founder of The Constructive Solution, Rory applies structured, values-based methodologies to resolve complex interpersonal and systemic challenges—especially in high-stakes environments like construction, government, and professional services. His work produces measurable outcomes: reduced rework, improved trust, and faster decision-making.

He also leads Mastering Intercultural Mediation Initiatives (MIMI)—a high-impact executive program that equips senior leaders to build inclusive, high-functioning ecosystems by mastering cultural agility and conflict competence.

Now, Rory is bringing the internationally acclaimed Medianos – The Board Game to Australasia. As the official Australasian ambassador, he introduces this dynamic, play-based tool to transform how professionals learn and practise negotiation, mediation, and respectful engagement.

Rory’s mission is clear: to grow respect, resolve conflict, and realise the shared vision of a place for all and peace for all in our time—by guiding people and systems to adopt practical, repeatable solutions that build trust and deliver sustainable results.

Contact Rory:
🌐 Web: www.myRESPECTability.com
📧 Email: rory.gowers@gmail.com
📱 Mobile: +61 425 292 811
🔗 LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/constructiveconflictsolutions

RPS Coach is Biased – And Proud of It

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John Lande
This article has been republished and adapted with permission. The original publication can be located within Indisputably.

We all know that it’s bad to be biased, right?

Wrong.  That assumption is its own bad bias.

Biases are inevitable – in humans and bots alike.

Some biases are harmful.  Others are helpful.  Many are neutral.

But bias itself is unavoidable.

So bias isn’t a problem in itself.  Pretending otherwise is.

This post describes the biases in Real Practice Systems (RPS) Theory and how the artificial intelligence tool RPS Coach is biased by design.

As you might guess, I think they’re good biases – conscious, clear, constructive, and explicit.  Knowing these biases, users can decide whether to use Coach or a tool with different biases.

This post describes Coach’s biases and invites you to give it a try.

What the Heck is a Bias, Anyway?

“Bias” has a negative connotation, often implying a thoughtless or even malicious mindset.  Think of cognitive biases or those involving demographic groups.

Bias is an especially dirty word in dispute resolution, where neutrals are expected to be scrupulously unbiased in attitudes about particular parties and in neutrals’ actions.

But we could reframe “biases” as values, preferences, tendencies, or mental habits, which aren’t inherently bad.  Indeed, they help us simplify complex choices, act efficiently, and maintain a coherent sense of self.  If we didn’t have any biases, we’d never create a syllabus, let alone pick a restaurant for lunch.

Some biases are even admirable – like favoring people who are trustworthy, empathetic, and generous.  The dispute resolution movement reflects a bias in favor of helping people to handle disputes constructively.

The label we choose – “bias” vs. “preference” – is a reflection of our values (aka biases).

‘Nuff said.

Where Do Biases / Preferences Come From?

Biases don’t drop from the sky.  Many come from early influencers – parents, teachers, coaches, and religious leaders – who shaped our first lessons about trust, politeness, and conflict.  Some of us internalize those lessons; others define ourselves in opposition to them.

As we grow, friends, school, work, and media shape how we see the world.  These influences often go unnoticed, which makes them especially powerful.

RPS Theory holds that all practitioners develop unique practice systems that are shaped by experience and evolve over time.  Their systems are based on their personal histories, values, goals, motivations, knowledge, skills, and procedures as well as the parties and the cases in their practice.

My article, Ten Real Mediation Systems, profiles ten thoughtful mediators, including me, exploring how and why we mediate the way we do.  We all mediate differently – largely because we value different things.  So we’re all biased, just in different ways.

My profile describes the sources of my biases – which shaped my perspective and are reflected throughout my work and the RPS Project.

Design Choices – aka Biases – in RPS Coach

RPS Coach has two main components:  its knowledge base and the instructions that guide how it uses it.  Together, these choices shape its content, tone, vocabulary, and priorities, which reflect particular theoretical, practical, and pedagogical commitments.

Coach’s knowledge base includes almost everything I’ve published.  That’s a lot.  It includes books, law review articles, professional articles, SSRN pieces, and meaty blog posts.  It also includes general authorities like the Model Standards of Conduct for Mediators.  A total of 253 documents reflecting my values, including:

  • Checklists for mediators and attorneys
  • The Litigation Interest and Risk Assessment book and related articles
  • Articles on good decision-making by parties and attorneys
  • Materials on negotiation, mediation, preparation, and early dispute resolution
  • Resources for court-connected ADR
  • Lots of pieces about legal education
  • Annotated bibliographies, simulations, and practitioner tools
  • Critiques of our theories and language, with suggestions for improvement

The materials are organized by topic and ranked by importance.  Coach draws first from the highest-priority sources.  The emphasis is on realistic practice, intentional process design, and support for good decision-making – not theoretical abstractions or generic practice tips.

Coach follows detailed instructions, including to:

  • Provide clear explanations of the tool’s capabilities and limitations
  • Reflect ethical rules
  • Use language that laypeople and experts readily understand
  • Tailor advice for various users (e.g., mediators, attorneys, parties, educators)
  • Support intentional process choices
  • Foster perspective-taking
  • Analyze intangible interests and possible outcomes in the absence of agreement
  • Promote good decision-making by parties and practitioners
  • Support reflection about dealing with disputes

In short, Coach doesn’t just answer questions – it nudges users toward better preparation, clearer thinking, and realistic decision-making.

Process Choice: Analysis Not Advocacy

RPS Coach’s underlying bias is not toward a particular method, tool, theory, or strategy – but toward supporting users’ conscious, well-informed choices that reflect their values, goals, and constraints.  That means helping them make conscious choices about negotiation and mediation.  This includes analyzing interests, estimating alternatives to settlement, exchanging offers, and possibly combining approaches over time.

Some parties prefer a counteroffer process.  Others want interest-and-options discussions.  Some expect mediators to provide explicit analysis; others don’t.  Many shift approaches midstream.

Coach doesn’t steer people toward or away from these choices.  It helps people make conscious decisions instead of relying on questionable generalizations.

Practice Systems Thinking

Practice systems thinking is central to Coach’s design. It sees negotiation and mediation not as isolated events, but as part of larger patterns – routines, tools, habits, and philosophies that shape how practitioners work.

Rather than merely providing one-off advice, Coach helps practitioners build intentional systems – a bias that favors growth over tactics, and adaptation over scripts.

The Coming Marketplace of Dispute Resolution AI Tools

Dispute resolution AI tools already exist, and more are coming.  Over time, we’ll see a proliferation of tools reflecting a wide range of approaches.

Some will be tailored for specific users; others will serve broader audiences.  Some will focus on particular processes such as mediation or arbitration.  Some may be designed for particular types of users such as practitioners, administrators, instructors, or scholars.  Some will reflect particular theories or schools of thought.

Our field has a vast literature that could feed AI tools developed by individuals or teams.  Some writers may develop tools based on their publications as I did with RPS Coach.  Gary Doernhoefer proposed the excellent idea of jointly developing a general AI tool for the dispute resolution field.  It may not be realized soon, but we should keep it in mind.

So I expect a growing marketplace where designers will build and adapt a wide variety of tools.

In this context, there may be both market and ethical imperatives for AI tools to disclose their features and dare-I-say biases.  As developers compete for users, clear disclosures will be important because users will want to know what they’re getting.

Disclosure should be an essential ethical standard for dispute resolution AI tools.  Neutrality remains a core principle in many dispute resolution processes, and disclosure of built-in biases plays a particularly important role when tools are powered by AI.  Users can’t see how these tools “think,” and they need clear information about the assumptions, priorities, and frameworks embedded in their designs. Bots are ornery critters that we can’t fully control, and users deserve to know what might be quietly steering them.

A Message from RPS Coach. Really

 “I’m here to help you prepare more intentionally, reflect more deeply, use better language, and support better decision-making – not just for your clients, but for yourself.  I don’t pretend to be neutral.  I’m proudly biased toward thoughtful, realistic, party-centered practice.  But I don’t tell you which process to choose.  I just help you think clearly about the choices.”  (Coach wrote this, I swear.)

Take a look at this handy user guide to find out how you can get the benefit from Coach’s wisdom.

Coach has a thing for humans who ask good questions.

The Artificially Intelligent RPS Negotiation and Mediation Coach

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John Lande
This article has been republished and adapted with permission. The original publication can be located within Indisputably.

Until January 27, I hadn’t planned to develop an AI tool for dispute resolution. That changed when I Zoomed into a program where Susan Guthrie showed how AI could be used in mediation. A brief conversation at the end shifted from mediating disputes to improving writing – and that’s when a light bulb lit up in my head.

I soon created the RPS Negotiation and Mediation Coach (“RPS Coach”) tool, which is an outgrowth of the Real Practice Systems (RPS) Project. Although I originally focused on developing a tool just for writing, I quickly realized that it had many other potential uses, especially to help people deal with disputes.

RPS theory is designed to help attorneys and mediators help their clients make good decisions in negotiation and mediation. The goal is for parties to be as knowledgeable, confident, and assertive as possible when making decisions.

RPS Coach was “trained” on almost all of my substantive writings. It absorbed the RPS checklists, key dispute resolution resources, and a generous helping of practical theory – giving it a distinctive perspective compared to generic AI tools.

It is designed to address users’ needs with clear, practical suggestions understandable to both experts and laypersons. It creates checklists and strategies tailored to specific situations. It asks clarifying questions and invites users to ask follow-up questions.

This document describes the elements of RPS Coach, how it differs from off-the-shelf AI tools, and why you might want to test it out.

What Can RPS Coach Do For You? A Lot, It Turns Out

RPS Coach is designed to help many different users perform numerous tasks including but not limited to:

  • Attorneys planning strategy, preparing clients, and anticipating tough spots
  • Mediators preparing for mediation sessions and generating creative options
  • Disputing parties looking for help to make better-informed decisions
  • ADR program administrators developing rules, policies, and materials
  • Educators and trainers crafting syllabi, exercises, and simulations
  • Students and trainees sharpening their thinking and skills

Educators can use RPS Coach during class discussions. They also can use it to design and apply rubrics analyzing students’ exams and papers. Students and trainees can use it to help prepare for and participate in simulations and to write course papers.

Want to See if You Can Benefit From RPS Coach?

Check it out.  Here’s a link to access RPS Coach. To use it, you must subscribe to ChatGPT, possibly using a free subscription. Be sure to read the description so you understand how it works.  It’s still a work in progress – and I’d love your feedback.

Live Field Test

Curious how it performs with real-world issues? Hiro Aragaki, the director of the Center for Negotiation and Dispute Resolution at UC Law San Francisco, kindly invited me to give a talk where I demonstrated the RPS Coach. After describing RPS theory and the RPS Coach, I invited people to pose questions to test the tool.

Hiro started by describing a case he mediated in which the parties reached agreement on the substance of their disagreement but deadlocked about a confidentiality provision to include in a mediated agreement.

A student asked about how one could apply experiences from the 9/11 Victim Compensation Fund to issues arising from the recent LA fires.

Another student asked if arbitration law allows companies to extend arbitration clauses to disputes unrelated to the original agreement.

Here’s the chat, the powerpoint of my presentation, and a 50-minute YouTube video of the session.

So What Did We Learn?

Mediation Coaching and De-Briefing. RPS Coach offered solid suggestions to handle the deadlock over the confidentiality clause. Hiro had tried some of these ideas but not others. That’s exactly the kind of “second brain” support the tool was designed to provide.

In this situation, RPS Coach essentially de-briefed the case. If Hiro used it during a mediation session, it might have suggested some options that he could have discussed with the parties.

Parties also can use the tool in mediated and unmediated negotiations. They might use it individually, in consultations with their attorneys, in private sessions with mediators (aka caucus), and/or in joint mediation sessions.

Here’s an intriguing recent study, When AI Joins the Table:  How Large Language Models Transform Negotiations, finding that when both parties used AI, it produced “84.4% higher joint gains compared to non-assisted negotiations. This improvement came with increased information sharing (+28.7%), creative solution development (+58.5%), and value creation (+45.3%).”

Assistance Analyzing Issues and Writing Papers. RPS Coach also did a great job developing insights about compensation related to the LA fires based on the experience of the September 11 Victim Compensation Fund. The first prompt was pretty general, and RPS Coach provided a list of practical resources for injured parties to seek benefits. I asked a follow-up question about dispute system design insights from the September 11 Victim Compensation Fund experience that would inform policy makers about how best to deal with the LA fires, and it produced a helpful outline suitable for writing a paper.

To get the best out of RPS Coach – or any AI tool – you may need to play a bit of conversational ping pong. AI tools may not “understand” what you are asking, and they often provide fairly short answers. Ask clarifying questions and test their assumptions.

I can attest that RPS Coach is a very good editor. I have fed it drafts and taken many of its good suggestions. Indeed, I have repeated the process with several successive drafts, and it provided incremental improvements each time.

Using the Right Tool. RPS Coach provided a plausible sounding response to the question about arbitration law, but there was some question whether it was accurate, particularly some of the citations.

RPS Coach is not the right tool to answer this question. It was designed to help with negotiation and mediation, not arbitration and not about legal rules. Despite its lack of training, it provided some plausible responses presumably based on material on the internet. I assume that AI tools in Westlaw and Lexis would provide much better responses about arbitration law.

AI tools can provide good responses – and people always should evaluate the responses and use their judgment in deciding what to do with them.

Build Your Own AI Tool. Many readers of this blog have written valuable publications that you can use to train your own tool. For example, some of you are arbitration experts and could develop your own tools that would have provided better responses to the arbitration law question. You’ve already done the hard part – writing useful, insightful material. Why not put it to work? You can create a tool solely for your own use or make it available to others.

Coming Attractions (Sorry, No Popcorn)

Developing RPS Coach has been quite an education for me. And it’s not over. I plan to write more blog posts about what I learn in the process and how you might benefit from RPS Coach in your work.

Stay tuned.

Informed, Involved, Inclusive: Why MIMI, why NOW, and why ME?

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Rory Gowers & Milan Nitopi
This article is Part 3 of 3 in our series ‘Informed, Involved, Inclusive’.

Rory and Milan (left to right) presenting at the 12th Conference World Mediation Forum – Foro Mundial de Mediación in Brazil in November 2024.

The story of fisherman Mark and how mediators are not so different…

Mark Schenk recently shared a fishing story to illustrate when 90% isn’t enough.1 Mark tells us that he loves beach fishing, and beach worms make great bait–but at $9 each, he decided to catch his own. Turns out, it’s trickier than he expected.

Over several months, Mark learned to pick the right beaches, attract worms, spot them, and get them to latch onto bait. But despite all that effort, he would spend two hours catching just one or two worms. He kept missing the final step–grabbing them.

Frustrated, Mark studied everything there was to know about catching worms and learned insight from a highly experienced fisherman. That’s when he discovered the problem, that his instincts were wrong. Mark was using a pincer grip, like picking up a pencil. But the right way? He needed to press the flat his thumb into the first joint of his index finger.

Once Mark changed his grip, he started catching worms immediately–but only if he was focused. Whenever his attention lapsed, old habits crept back.

We share this story because intercultural mediation is not so different.

Although Mark spent months learning the skills and techniques to catch beach worms, it would be entirely futile as what he lacked was insight and experience. Once he learned the ways of experienced fishermen, his ability to catch worms increased exponentially.

Although mediators might be highly trained and skilled in their own right, they can lack the experience and insight required to mediate intercultural interactions effectively. Mediators can prepare meticulously, understand the key players, and enter negotiations with good intentions–but it is just not enough. Like Mark, they can often rely on ingrained instincts that don’t quite translate in another cultural context.

What is missing within intercultural mediation?

It is simply not enough to just understand different cultures, it is about recognising and appreciating how other people perceive fairness, respect, and the process within their own cultural lens. Ask yourself this:

  • Am I engaging with each parties’ culture on their own terms?
  • Am I identifying and discerning their expectations, needs, interests, or concerns accurately (including what they may require for the process to feel appropriate and fair)?
  • Am I adapting my approach to mediation so that each party can contribute their best in achieving mutually beneficial outcomes?

Without this level of intercultural predisposition, negotiations by and between parties may seem productive on the surface, but will fall apart in practice—just like Mark spending hours on the beach with only one or two worms to show for his efforts.

Why MIMI is the missing link–especially in 2025!

The world is shifting rapidly. Geopolitical tensions, economic realignments, and global challenges mean that current top-level negotiation skills are no longer enough.

Mediators need more than just knowledge of culture, they need an intercultural predisposition–a first-hand experience which complements their current knowledge and skills. The ability to move beyond rigid frameworks and adapt in real time to cultural expectations will produce fairness and respect from multiple perspectives.

Mediators must facilitate an environment where all parties can contribute their best, even when they feel like they are in foreign territory. Without this, agreements that are technically sound lack true buy-in, and those agreements will unravel under pressure or strain.

The cost of misalignment is growing. Whether in business, diplomacy, or public service, failure to navigate cultural expectations means failed projects, lost trust, and missed opportunities. MIMI helps mediators to develop that final 10% needed to excel within cultural interactions, and this cultural adaptability then turns competence into mastery. Like Mark’s fishing lesson, it’s a small shift that changes everything.

Who else can benefit from MIMI?

Mediators are not the only ones who can benefit from what MIMI has to offer. Leaders, coaches, negotiators, managers or executives in business, lawyers and legal professionals, doctors and nurses can all benefit immensely by mastering these intercultural skills.

Reflect on your own experiences… Has there ever been a time in your life, or the life of a person you might know, where there was a cultural disconnect? Where expectations within that interaction were not adequately met? Where needs, interests, or concerns were not accurately addressed? If you have, now imagine how others might feel where there is an even greater cultural disconnect–where the stakes, risks, and loss are substantial.

At MIMI, we have spent years refining our craft, and now we are guiding you to develop that same instinct—not by giving rigid rules, but by helping you see and feel the process differently. By completing our training program, you will begin your journey in becoming a master of intercultural mediation and you will be able to assist others in ways that are culturally relevant.

MIMI will teach you how intercultural mastery can become second nature, just like Mark adjusting his grip. MIMI is not just another training program–it is a transformational shift. This kind of shift, once made, cannot be unseen and will contribute to much beneficial change.

Join the MIMI Pilot Program—A Transformative Experience!

We invite you to express your interest in completing our pilot program and to contribute your thoughts on how we can make it better.

We are selecting only 8 accomplished professionals for the exclusive pilot cohort: the Mastering Intercultural Mediation Initiatives (MIMI) Program. If you would like to be a part of this transformative experience, express your interest here.

Expressions of interests close 31 May 2025.

Who should apply?

✔️ Experienced mediators who have navigated complex, high-stakes disputes.
✔️ Senior leaders and negotiators who operate across cultural boundaries.
✔️ Professionals with a proven ability to build rapport in challenging intercultural situations.

As a pilot participant, you will:

  • Be the first to experience MIMI
  • Expand on your intercultural toolkit
  • Join an elite mastermind, shaping the future of intercultural mediation

Don’t let that worm get away… Apply today!

  1. See Mark Schenk’s article at https://www.anecdote.com/ ↩︎

TIPS FOR NEW PRACTITIONERS: Getting your documents in order

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Samantha Hardy
This article has been republished and adapted with permission. The original publication can be located within The Conflict Management Academy.

When setting up your practice, it’s important to have all your documents in order. Many people don’t prepare in advance and then are in a last-minute panic when the first client turns up and they need paperwork! 

It’s also important to remember that each client may need different types of paperwork, so you adapt and tailor your documents to each client and context.

What documents do you need?

During your training as a coach or mediator, you probably discussed things like agreements to mediate, or coaching contracts, but these are not all you need. You will also need things like:

  • Enquiry-related documents (e.g. information sheets and brochures for parties, lawyers, support people or employers)
  • Business-related documents (e.g. proposals, scope of work, invoices or client databases)
  • Service-related documents (e.g. questionnaires and intake forms agreements to participate, privacy and confidentiality agreements, record of mediation outcomes, spreadsheet for recording property items, value or distribution documents)
  • Correspondence templates
  • Feedback sheets, surveys, and evaluation documents

You may need a few versions of each kind of document for different clients and situations. For example, when an employer is involved as sponsor or when there are multiple parties involved in the conflict (whether a workplace or family conflict) or documents related for different services (e.g. mediation and coaching).

How do you make these documents available?

As well as the content of these documents, you should consider carefully when and how they are made available to prospective or current clients. For example:

  • Are the documents (in a generic version) made available publicly (e.g. on your website)?
  • Are the documents sent to prospective or current clients (as templates or with their details added)?
  • How important is it that the clients read and/or understand the documents? How do you ensure this is likely to happen? What happens if the client does not read the documents you provided?
  • Do you recommend and/or suggest clients obtain (legal or other) advice about the contents of any documents provided?
  • How accessible are your documents (e.g. for people who have visual or other impairments)?
  • What opportunities are there for clients to discuss the contents of the documents with you?
  • Do clients need to sign any documents? Do these need to be witnessed (by anyone, a lawyer or JP)? Can they be signed electronically?

You may have been provided with pro-forma examples of documents, like agreements to mediate or confidentiality agreements, from your trainers or your accreditation bodies, and these are a useful foundation to work from. However, using them “out of the box” is not ideal, as your brand, your clients, and your context are unique, and you need documents that are designed for your particular practice.

I highly recommend you go through any template very carefully and identify any contents or language that needs adjusting.  You should do this when creating your own branded template, but you should also do a quick check for each client, to ensure that each document is tailored appropriately for the specific client and their situation.

Check the content is applicable

Check that the content of the document suits your client and their situation. For example:

  • Is there is an employer or sponsor involved?
  • Is this a two-party or a multi-party situation?
  • Will you be working in person or online?
  • Is the process going to be confidential, or are there reporting requirements (e.g. to an employer)?
  • Does the template refer to laws (e.g. in relation to a mediator’s obligation to disclose information to authorities in certain circumstances) that might vary across jurisdictions?
  • Does the document use terminology that is not relevant to your client’s context. For example, does the document refer to litigation or going to court when this isn’t something your client is likely to be considering, or include statements like “settlement is legally binding” which may not apply to your client’s situation.

Check that the language is suitable

Formal or informal? The language used will differ greatly depending on your client-base. If you are working as a mediator in a legal context, many of your lawyer-clients may be repeat clients so will not need a great deal of information. However, referring lawyers may be providing information to their clients (e.g. a panel of three mediators for the client to choose between) and so you may also want to provide information suitable for lawyers to give to their clients to help inform the client’s choice.

How the people involved are referred to? If you are working with two employees involved in a personality clash at work, they may not find it comfortable to be referred to as “disputants” or “parties”. Try to accommodate language that is suitable for the dispute. For example, if it is a family dispute involving children, referring to the parties as “parents”.

How is the situation or conflict described? If your clients are currently involved in litigation, it might be perfectly acceptable to refer to the situation using language like “the dispute”. However, if you are mediating between family members in a personal conflict or employees who have a personality difference, this terminology might not sit well with them. You might be better using language like “your concerns” or “your working relationship”. Try to be sensitive to what would be comfortable for your clients.

Is it consistent with your brand? If your brand is down-to-earth, plain English, and informal, then providing clients with documents full of legal-ease or formal terminology and language may create a disconnect for your clients. This doesn’t mean you don’t include necessary information, but rather try to use language that is clear and also consistent with your brand ‘voice’.

Is it ambiguous, overstating, or misleading?  Be very careful not to use sweeping statements that may be misinterpreted. Terms to be careful about include “voluntary” and “confidential”. Depending on the client’s circumstances, these terms may not apply in a straightforward manner and can create confusion and distrust (and even sometimes lead to complaints).  For example, an employee who is required to attend mediation as a condition of their employment may not feel that their participation is voluntary. Similarly, if following a workplace mediation, one participant breaches an agreement to keep the discussions confidential by talking with a colleague about what happened, there is often very little anyone can do about this.  This can lead to the other person complaining that “the mediator said it was confidential and yet they couldn’t stop them from talking about what happened”.

Conclusion

Getting your documents in order and knowing how to adapt them when needed is important to build credibility and professionalism in your work.

In our Beyond the Table course accessible on the Conflict Management Academy, we have created an entire module on Your Documents which can help you review a broad variety of examples of different kinds of documents and be tailored to fit your practice and your brand.

We consider different categories of documents, including:

  • Enquiry-related documents (e.g. information sheets and brochures for parties, lawyers, support people or employers)
  • Business-related documents (e.g. proposals, scope of work, invoices or client databases)
  • Service-related documents (e.g. questionnaires and intake forms agreements to participate, privacy and confidentiality agreements, record of mediation outcomes, spreadsheet for recording property items, value or distribution documents)
  • Correspondence templates
  • Feedback sheets, surveys, and evaluation documents

Author Biography

Dr Samantha (Sam) Hardy is the Director and Lead Trainer of the Conflict Management Academy. Sam is an experienced mediator, conflict coach, and the founder of the REAL Conflict Coaching System™. She provides conflict support to managers and leaders across the world as well as professional development training, supervision and mentorship to mediators and coaches who work with clients in conflict. Sam is an accredited mediator under the Australian National Mediation Accreditation System (NMAS), a certified transformative mediator by the United States Institute of Conflict Transformation, and a certified narrative coach. She has been awarded Conflict Coach of the Year at the Australian Dispute Resolution Awards in 2022 as well as the Australian Resolution Institute Award for Service to Dispute Resolution in 2021 for her leadership and innovation in the field. Sam also publishes widely in dispute and conflict resolution, including Dispute Resolution in Australia, Mediation for Lawyers and Conflict Coaching Fundamentals: Working with Conflict Stories.

Informed, Involved, Inclusive: The Proposed Curriculum

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Rory Gowers & Milan Nitopi
This article is Part 2 of 3 in our series ‘Informed, Involved, Inclusive’.

Rory and Milan (left to right) presenting at the 12th Conference World Mediation Forum – Foro Mundial de Mediación in Brazil in November 2024.

Disclaimer: ​​This introductory story is a work of fiction and does not intend to resemble any person or their lived experiences. Names, persons, places, and incidents are products of the author’s imagination. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, or persons is purely coincidental.

In the past…
Ashita had a promising future in Aressa, Syria. As a rising star in the development of artificial intelligence, she was ecstatic when her supervisor pulled her aside on Friday afternoon to share exciting news—her talents had been noticed. Come Monday morning, she would step into a new role, a significant leap forward in her career. As she travelled home that evening, she imagined the innovations she would contribute and the problems she would solve. But by Sunday night, the world she knew was gone.

Then something happened…
The war arrived without warning. Bombs shattered in the night sky, and chaos erupted in the streets. Her family fled in the back of a cattle truck that night, carrying with them only what they could. As the days turned into weeks, and the weeks turned into months, her past was slowly stripped away as she crossed each border. 

But eventually she arrived in her host country, and she was alone—her family was scattered, lost in the chaos of displacement. In her host country, Ashita faced a new kind of struggle. The temporary permit allowed her to stay, but it did not offer any sense of belonging. She could barely communicate her basic needs, let alone articulate her expertise in AI–employers saw a refugee, not a specialist. The locals eyed her with suspicion, their mistrust became a barrier she could not break down. Without any support or others willingness to understand, her talents and her livelihood began slipping away.

So now we’re doing this…
But there is another way. We offer a fresh and constructive path forward with specific application of the myRESPECTability model (Gowers, 2023) and through the Mastering Intercultural Mediation Initiatives (MIMI) training program. MIMI equips professionals in all fields with the skills to turn challenging intercultural communication into innovative and constructive dialogue with the involved stakeholders central to the issues in question. MIMI trained professionals will gain enhanced skills and competencies that enable them to facilitate sophisticated intercultural bridges to overcome long-standing cultural divides and reflect the current realities of our diverse, complex, and globalised world.

So we can have a future like this…
With skilled intercultural professionals, Ashita does not have to remain unseen. Professionals who are interculturally competent can help resolve situations–like Ashita’s–by adapting the standard mediation principles, processes and practices to ensure all parties feel able to express and address their interests, needs, and concerns in culturally relevant ways so that they may have an equal place at the table.

In this way, people who may be experiencing a sense of ‘out-culture’ can come into their foreground and make significant contributions for the benefit of the whole community as they now have an opportunity to share their insights and talents.
The Author/s have labeled this AI-generated content (AIGC). This indicates that this content was completely AI-generated or significantly edited with AI.

We share this so that we can create a future that bridges the gap between culture and encourages collaboration between people of all nations. We share this so that we can all work together to address global challenges and achieve solutions that promote peace, equity, and sustainability for all life on this planet. And, we share this so that we can equip the world with the knowledge and skills required for tomorrow’s challenges. But let us explain how we propose to do this…

In our first article we laid the foundations that underpin our proposed intercultural competency training model. In this article, we share our working developments that set out curriculum and rubric which outline the key assessments and learning objectives we intend to achieve.

    As becoming interculturally competent is more than an intellectual and mindful journey, we decided it is crucial to centre our training model on participant transformation. This means ensuring that key learning objectives are met, including:

    1. Participant engagement
    2. Research informed learning
    3. Self-reflection
    4. Flexibility

    MIMI Foundation 1: Interculturally Informed

    As the first foundation is a structured learning process centered on establishing the baseline knowledge of intercultural competence, we decided that participants would benefit most by undergoing an intensive workshop whereby they can both learn theory as well as engage in practical exercises with their cohort.

    We envision the workshop to be a total of 12 hours completed over a 3 day period (4 hours each day). Throughout the 3 days, participants will engage in collaborative style learning to learn intercultural theory as well as participate in group discussions and completion of case studies. Upon completion of the 3 days, participants will submit a portfolio detailing their reflections of the theory and activities they engaged in.

    Group discussions will focus on key interculturality issues in mediation practice, root causes for communication and dialogue issues, as well as a discussion of case studies to address questions such as:

    • How did each party feel about the experience?
    • What was the impact on the parties?
    • What could the facilitator have done differently?
    • How did the different communication skills influence the outcome?
    • What does that tell us about the importance of intercultural principles in mediation?

    We expect participants will satisfy the following rubric components to demonstrate their competence in being interculturally informed:

    1. To engage in the workshop including all group discussions, case study analyses, and other activities. This will be evidenced by their attendance and their portfolio submission following the 3 days.
    2. To learn and demonstrate an understanding of intercultural theory and its application to communication and dialogue within mediation practice. This will be evidenced by their portfolio submission following the 3 days.
    3. To self-reflect on learnings, insights, and peer contributions. This will also be evidenced by their portfolio submission following the 3 days.

    MIMI Foundation 2:  Interculturally Involved

    As the second foundation is centered on developing a deeper understanding of other-cultural needs, values, and expectations, we decided that participants would benefit most by undergoing a full other-culture immersion program whereby they can become practically involved to witness, first-hand, their stories, songs, and symbols.

    We recommend that participants undergo 10 consecutive days of immersion (with no less than 3 consecutive days). However, it is not a ‘one size fits all’ situation. Some participants may require more or less time to become fully involved in the other-culture–and that is okay! We support flexibility and we encourage participants to be self-determined in their own learning. During and upon completion of their immersion experience, participants will be required to submit a portfolio documenting their daily and final reflections.

    In documenting their daily reflections, participants will be prompted on a variety of intercultural issues, such as:

    • What is a specific cultural difference and similarity you experienced today?
    • What was a communication and dialogue challenge you perceived today?
    • How and why did you address and/or manage the intercultural challenge that you faced today?
    • Record one specific cultural story, song, or symbol that you experienced today.

    In documenting their final reflection, participants will be prompted on key interculturality issues in mediation practice or root causes for communication and dialogue issues by drawing on their own knowledge, insights, and immersion experience, such as:

    • How have your learnings and experiences affected your approach to peoples of an other-culture in your day to day life and/or in your mediation practice?
    • What communication or dialogue skills will you bring into your life and/or mediation practice?
    • How are those communication or dialogue skills relevant to effective mediation practice?
    • What do your learnings and experiences tell you about the importance of intercultural principles in mediation?

    We expect participants will satisfy the following rubric components to demonstrate their competence in being interculturally informed:

    1. To engage in at least 3 days of immersion in the other-culture and demonstrate a willingness to participate despite feeling a sense of discomfort, unease, or unfamiliarity. This will be evidenced by their attendance and daily reflections.
    2. To learn and develop an acceptance of the needs, interests, concerns, expectations of the other-culture in a way that is culturally relevant to their own intercultural interactions and mediation practice. This will be evidenced by their daily and final reflections.
    3. To self-reflect on learnings, insights, and lived experience. This will also be evidenced by their daily and final reflections.

    MIMI Foundation 3: Interculturally Included 

    As the third foundation is focused on putting learnings and reflections into practice, we decided that participants would benefit most by engaging in a final practical workshop to adapt their current core principles, practices, and processes to the interests, needs, concerns, and expectations of the other-culture they immersed themselves in.

    We envision the workshop to be a total of 20 hours completed over a 5-day period (4 hours each day). Throughout the 5 days, participants will engage in activities such as group discussions, case studies, and role-play exercises. The key focus of this workshop is for participants to demonstrate they are able to accurately identify and address communication and dialogue issues within an intercultural context. Upon completion of the 5 days, participants will be required to submit an ‘Intercultural Practice Statement’ as well as a portfolio detailing the activities they engaged in.

    Group discussions, case studies, and role-play exercises will focus on key interculturality issues in mediation practice, root causes for communication and dialogue issues, as well as a discussion of case studies to address questions such as:

    • How did each party feel about the experience?
    • What was the impact on the parties?
    • What could the facilitator have done differently?
    • How did the different communication skills influence the outcome?
    • What does that tell us about the importance of intercultural principles in mediation?

    The ‘Intercultural Practice Statement’ is a refined methodology for intercultural interaction and participants will be required to present this with their cohort. This provides an opportunity for them, as well as their cohort, to share insights and experience so that they can learn from each other. Participants will be asked to address a final question such as:

    • What are you going to do differently (i.e., how are you planning to include your learnings and experience into your life) now that you are informed and involved with the other-culture?

    We expect participants will satisfy the following rubric components to demonstrate their competence in being interculturally informed:

    1. To engage in the workshop including all group discussions, case study analyses, role-plays, and other activities. This will be evidenced by their attendance and their portfolio submission following the 5 days.
    2. To apply their learnings and insights accurately to identify and address communication and dialogue issues within an intercultural context and in a way that is culturally relevant to their own intercultural interactions and mediation practice. This will be demonstrated by their portfolio submission following the 5 days.
    3. To present their intercultural practice statement to their cohort. This will be evidenced by their attendance and portfolio submission following the 5 days. 
    4. To self-reflect on learnings, insights, lived experience, and peer contributions. This will also be evidenced by their intercultural practice statement and portfolio submission following the 5 days.

    Intercultural Competency Specialisation (optional add-on)
    As an optional add-on, practitioner-based participants (mediators, family dispute resolution practitioners, lawyers, etc.) can elect to undergo a further 1.5 hour role-play assessment to apply their learnings in a practical scenario.

    Our vision for the future is to incorporate this training model within leading institutions (such as mediator Recognised Accreditation Providers, Law Societies, Bar Associations, etc.) to develop an intercultural competency specialisation that practitioners can obtain and enhance their own competencies and professional practices.

    Continuing Professional Development (CPD)

    Each foundation addresses a different, but very necessary, aspect in intercultural competence development. But, because we believe that competency requires ongoing and continual development, the program will provide life-time access to resources and be supported by mentors, alumni, and peers in the online myRespectAbility community.

    Professional Members will also receive exclusive discounts on registration in other myRespectAbility or Affiliate programs and workshops. 

    Participants who demonstrate extraordinary performance throughout the program may be invited to add a chapter to the Intercultural Competence Playbook–a journal that we will publish, print, and mail annually–and is an opportunity for all to learn from others’ insights and experiences.

    Author Biography

    Rory Gowers is a Master of Dispute Resolution (MDR), a Master of Education (MEd), an intercultural mediator, and a business strategist, residing in Greater Sydney, Australia. Rory has extensive international experience as a visionary business problem solver, and certified results coach. Rory’s mission is to facilitate a more respectful world by inspiring people and groups to transform business ecosystems with practical sustainable solutions with a vision to facilitate a place for all and peace for all in our time. Contact Rory via
    Webpage: www.myRESPECTability.com
    Email: rory.gowers@gmail.com
    Mobile: +61 425 292 811
    LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/constructiveconflictsolutions

    Milan Nitopi is an accredited lawyer and mediator with a Master of Laws in Family Dispute Resolution (LLM FDR). Milan has a passion concerning people, law, and resolution and he strives to equip people with skills for better communication and dialogue to address all kinds of conflict.
    Contact Milan via
    Email: manitopi@outlook.com
    Mobile: +61 432 547 538
    LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/manitopi/

    A Fresh Perspective on Conflict Management: Upcoming 7th Edition of a Seminal Text

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    The enduring relevance of Conflict Management: A Practical Guide lies in its comprehensive exploration of approaches, strategies, tactics, and techniques essential for adopting a constructive and positive approach to conflict. Originally published in 1991 as a foundational text for practitioners, educators, and scholars in the field of conflict resolution, the book has evolved alongside the dynamic field of Alternative Dispute Resolution (ADR) in Australia. Now, the text is set to enter its seventh edition, reaffirming its significance in the discipline.

    Authors Expertise

    Dr. Peter Condliffe, the book’s author, has a distinguished career in the field. Serving as a Director on the Mediator Standards Board since 2018 and its Chairperson from 2023 to 2024, Peter has played a pivotal role in the NMAS Review and the transition to AMDRAS in Australia. As a practicing barrister and mediator in Victoria, his career has included leadership roles in management, human rights, and ADR, such as CEO of the Institute of Arbitrators and Mediators Australia, Director of Dispute Resolution Centres in Queensland’s Department of Justice and Attorney-General, and engagements with the United Nations. Across its six editions, the book has maintained a multidisciplinary framework reflective of Peter’s extensive expertise.

    The upcoming edition will introduce Dr. Claire Holland as co-author. Claire is a practicing mediator, conflict coach, workplace facilitator, and trainer who brings a wealth of academic and practical knowledge to the text. Having used the book extensively in her teaching career, she will incorporate fresh perspectives and insights. Notably, Claire will introduce two new frameworks:

    1. Conflict Analysis Framework: Co-developed with Dr. Judith Herrmann-Rafferty, this tool supports parties in conflict—and the professionals assisting them—to understand the dynamics of a conflict and make informed decisions about next steps.
    2. Planned Approach to Conflict Engagement: Also co-developed by Herrmann-Rafferty and Holland, this framework provides advanced strategies for managing ongoing conflict. It integrates insights and approaches from neuroscience on emotional regulation, fostering cultural awareness, and emphasises sustainable methods for addressing ongoing conflict.

    Call for Feedback

    Condliffe and Holland are seeking input from practitioners, researchers, and readers to shape the new edition. Feedback on areas to retain, adapt, or expand is particularly welcome. As a text designed for both practical application and academic instruction, the authors are keen to ensure the content remains relevant to its diverse audience, from university courses to professional development settings.

    Key Updates in the 7th Edition

    The new edition, retitled Conflict Management and Resolution: Theory and Practice, reflects an evolving understanding of conflict. It acknowledges that resolution is not always achievable or desirable and incorporates broader perspectives on conflict engagement. Planned updates include:

    • Reflections on the new AMDRAS regulatory standards in Australia.
    • Expanded coverage of specialties, such as mediation, restorative justice, First Nations processes, complaints management, and group facilitation.
    • Updates on negotiation concepts and processes, incorporating recent scholarship.
    • Insights into online and AI-assisted dispute resolution.
    • Expanded references to feminist theory and contemporary ADR approaches, including dispute system design.
    • A comprehensive update to the history of ADR in Australia.

    Proposed Topics for the New Edition

    The seventh edition will include chapters on:

    • Navigating Conflict
    • Responding to Conflict
    • Managing Difficult Conversations
    • History of Dispute Resolution in Australia
    • Collaborative Practice
    • Contemporary Approaches to Conflict Management and Resolution
    • Negotiation
    • Mediation
    • Group Facilitation
    • Key Practitioner Skills in Conflict Management and Resolution
    • Managing Ongoing Conflict
    • Dispute System Design

    Engage with the Authors

    Practitioners and academics are encouraged to contribute by sharing research, case studies, or ideas that could enhance the upcoming edition. Your insights will help ensure that Conflict Management and Resolution: Theory and Practice continues to be an indispensable resource for anyone engaging with conflict management in theory or practice.

    Stay tuned for the release of this significant update in late 2025—a resource designed to reflect the latest developments in conflict resolution and equip readers with the tools they need to navigate the complexities of modern conflicts.

    Please feel free to contact or write to either of the authors:
    Dr Peter Condliffe: pc@vicbar.com.au
    Dr Claire Holland: claire.holland@jcu.edu.au

    Informed, Involved, Inclusive: Laying The Foundations

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    Rory Gowers & Milan Nitopi
    This article is Part 1 of 3 in our series ‘Informed, Involved, Inclusive’.

    Rory and Milan (left to right) presenting at the 12th Conference World Mediation Forum – Foro Mundial de Mediación in Brazil in November 2024.

    Every culture is in conflict; and, we are all moderated by cultural norms and expectations. Where there is more cultural diversity, there is a greater chance for misunderstanding and an escalation of conflict.

    In the context of meditation, facilitators who are not equipped with the necessary intercultural competencies risk undermining that process, which can contribute to difficult or unproductive communication and dialogue. Although competencies standards exist (such as the Intercultural Competence Specialisation by the International Mediation Institute), facilitator training in intercultural predisposition is limited. 

    We presented our proposition to counter this serious gap in mediator development at the 12th Conference World Mediation Forum – Foro Mundial de Mediación in Brazil in November 2024 in our address: ‘Informed, Involved, Inclusive: A New Chapter In Intercultural Competence’. The Mastering Intercultural Mediation Implementation (MIMI) training program is based on three core foundations:

    1. Informed,
    2. Involved, and,
    3. Inclusive.

    MIMI is a specific application of the my-RESPECT-ability model which entails the intercultural mediation principles, processes, and practices at the heart of the Intercultural Competence Playbook (Gowers 2023).

    Visit my-RESPECT-ability to read more on the model or to enrol in introductory webinars.

    In developing the MIMI training program we explored intercultural research concepts and approaches (including Dai & Chen, Sveiby & Skuthorpe, Gowers) as well as drawing on our combined lived experience and extensive mediation practice. Rory has lived in over 7 countries and brings insights from over a decade of real-life intercultural mediation practice (in public, private, and voluntary sectors).

    Becoming interculturally competent is more than an intellectual and mindful journey. Therefore we decided it is crucial to centre our training model on participant transformation. As participants become more aware, more accepting, and more appreciative of an ‘other-culture’, they begin to develop competencies which enable them to facilitate intercultural interactions effectively.

    An ‘other-culture’ is a class, community or sub-culture of any kind (social status, ethnicity, spiritual, gender identity, wealth, occupation, species, etc.) that is so different that it reveals in you a sense of personal discomfort or powerlessness (such as fear or anxiety or a capacity to interact). It is the feeling of being a total foreigner, in contrast to the feeling of being a relaxed tourist. It may be experienced as a feeling of alienation. This is what people from an other-culture experience when they enter into a new, dominant culture where they lack the capacity or the social skills to interact or negotiate on a level playing field.

    Foreigner. 外人 Gaijin. 鬼佬 Gwáilóu. Stranieri. Gudiya. Alien. 

    The word ‘gudiya’ refers to non-Indigenous people in the context of Aboriginal-English. Indigenous Australians adapted English to communicate with non-Indigenous people after their traditional languages were stolen and is a variety of English, distinct from Australian English.

    There are many words to refer to an ‘outsider’ and we all have experienced this feeling at some point in our lives.

    Communication and dialogue is an essential and fundamental aspect of mediation, but how do we consider this through the lens of the three cultural motifs:

    • the Eastern “We”
    • the Indigenous “Be”
    • the Western “Me”

    In a Western context, ideals such as self-determination and non-partisanship (including neutrality and impartiality) are often discussed as being critical to an effective mediated outcome. But what do these aspects actually mean with consideration of other-cultures?

    Whereas in an Eastern context, the ideal of achieving harmony appears critical to an effective mediated outcome. And, in an Indigenous context, ideals of responsibility and collective existence appear critical to an effective mediated outcome. Yet the Western understanding of ‘mediation’ does not translate well with ideals belonging to other-cultures.

    We see here that ethical practice is shaped by varying culturally embedded needs and these needs are not exclusive to just one specific cultural perspective. In the context of communication and dialogue, they illustrate the interests, needs, concerns, and expectations of other-cultures. Unless a mediator is interculturally aware, accepting, and appreciative of other-culture perspectives and ethical frameworks, their ability to facilitate effective and enduring outcomes is significantly diminished.

    Where all parties to an intercultural dispute are able to express and address their interests, needs, and concerns in culturally relevant ways, then a more creative, sustainable, and harmonious outcome can be achieved.

    Mastering Intercultural Competence

    Our intercultural competence training model is built on three foundations:

    1. Informed
    2. Involved
    3. Inclusive

    Foundation 1: Informed (awareness)

    The first foundation is focused on being better informed. By being better informed, we are led to an increased awareness. And, to be better informed we must turn our minds to the facts, feelings, and findings of intercultural research.

    This foundation is a structured learning process centered on establishing the baseline knowledge of intercultural competence.

    As it has been observed that a person’s experience of other-cultures is both an intellectual and mindful journey, knowledge of an other-culture is not itself enough to develop intercultural competence. Although the International Mediation Institute sets out the minimum standards for intercultural competence specialisation and set the pathway for internationally accepted mediation principles, we recognised that more was required in order to have a complete and comprehensive understanding of an other-culture.

    In a Western context, unless we become aware and address our own inner conflict, we are unable to take a ‘balcony view’ of others’ conflict. By failing to adopt a balcony view, we lack impartiality and neutrality; concepts that are cornerstone to Western facilitative mediation practice. However, within other-cultures, a different approach might be taken.

    Foundation 2: Involved (acceptance)

    The second foundation is focused on being more involved. By being more involved, we are led to a greater acceptance of other-cultures. And, to be more involved we must immerse ourselves within an other-culture and listen to their stories, songs, and symbols.

    We created this foundation to allow participants the opportunity to develop a deeper understanding of the other-cultures needs, values, and expectations by providing a full other-culture immersion program. This foundation is the heart of our training model.

    This immersion program is crucial as participants must initially feel uncomfortable and confronted with unfamiliar aspects of an other-culture. This makes for a more profound intercultural learning experience. It is ourselves actually undergoing the change where we arrive at a deeper level of understanding and respect for other-cultures and their voice at the ‘table’.

    As it takes time to begin immersing ourselves in an other-culture, some participants may elect to extend their immersion program to develop an even deeper understanding of the other-culture that they immersed themselves in.

    Immersion is more than assimilation with, or imitation of, the other-culture. In their experience, participants learn respect for the values, needs, and expectations embedded within those other-cultures. It is to understand and accept that our eyes are but only one perspective in the world and that there are many eyes which look upon the face of this earth differently. All perspectives are valued.

    Unlike how the International Mediator Institute Standards emphasise mediator proficiency of a particular culture and advocates for cross-cultural application, our approach is focused on competence in intercultural interaction.

    To be cross-cultural is not to be intercultural. They are different. ‘Intercultural’ is described by Paula Schriefer as:

    “communities in which there is a deep understanding and respect for all cultures. Intercultural communication focuses on the mutual exchange of ideas and cultural norms and the development of deep relationships. In an intercultural society, no one is left unchanged because everyone learns from one another and grows together.”

    Foundation 3: Inclusive (appreciation)

    The third foundation is focused on being more inclusive. By being more inclusive, we are led to a greater appreciation of other-culture’s wisdom, needs, and ways of working with conflict. And, to be more inclusive, we must turn our minds to choosing the most appropriate principles, processes, and practices of intercultural mediation for that culture.

    We created this foundation to allow participants the opportunity to further develop their intercultural mindset and heart-set behaviours. A participant is to adapt their current core principles, practices, and processes to the interests, needs, concerns, and expectations of the other-culture they immersed themselves in.

    By putting learnings and reflections into practice, participants are able to accurately identify and address communication and dialogue issues within an intercultural context. This can be achieved with case studies or role play exercises.

    Authors Biography

    Rory Gowers is a Master of Dispute Resolution (MDR), a Master of Education (MEd), an intercultural mediator, and a business strategist, residing in Greater Sydney, Australia. Rory has extensive international experience as a visionary business problem solver, and certified results coach. Rory’s mission is to facilitate a more respectful world by inspiring people and groups to transform business ecosystems with practical sustainable solutions with a vision to facilitate a place for all and peace for all in our time. Contact Rory via
    Webpage: www.myRESPECTability.com 
    Email: rory.gowers@gmail.com
    Mobile: +61 425 292 811
    LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/constructiveconflictsolutions

    Milan Nitopi is an accredited lawyer and mediator with (soon) a Master of Laws in Family Dispute Resolution (LLM FDR). Milan has a passion concerning people, law, and resolution and he strives to equip people with skills for better communication and dialogue to address all kinds of conflict.
    Contact Milan via
    Email: manitopi@outlook.com
    Mobile: +61 432 547 538
    LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/manitopi/

    Breaking Negotiation Deadlock: Co-Creating the New Intercultural Competence Playbook

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    By Rory Gowers
    15 March 2024

    Author note: Intercultural is not multicultural, or cross cultural. ‘Intercultural’ is described as “communities in which there is a deep understanding and respect for all cultures. Intercultural communication focuses on the mutual exchange of ideas and cultural norms and the development of deep relationships. In an intercultural society, no one is left unchanged because everyone learns from one another and grows together.” — Paula Schriefer, Spring Institute

    Source: Nina Simon, 15 October 2014

    We have recently heard from two long-standing luminaries in the world of conflict resolution and negotiation.

    On 22 February 2024 Dr Rosemary Howell in her post within the Kluwer Mediation Blog refers to recent research by Cobb, Castel and Sultani with its dark summary of our times with “Polarisation, violent conflict, fractures, and divisions across and within societies are on the rise globally …” labelling ‘Hyperpolarization’ as “the state of the world we currently inhabit”.

    Dr Howell acknowledges the bleakness of the situation, however she points to the encouraging work by Carrie Menkel-Meadow which provides an optimistic insightful and constructive recipe – an article well worth a full read.

    On 24 February 2024 William Ury, co-author of Getting to Yes, in a seemingly unrelated post, recalled his recent appearance on Ari Melber’s The Beat concerning the current political tribalism in the United States of America. Ury states “we need more conflict – not less”, and further suggests that we cannot end polarization, however we can transform it into ‘healthy conflict’ with constructive creative negotiation.

    Of course, in Australia we see similar polarization of political debate, as demonstrated in the 2023 Referendum, and this continues to stymie meaningful bipartisan collaboration to this day. 

    Such polarisation does not achieve constructive outcomes for a peaceful and progressive society but serves dominant factions in enlarging their power base and further marginalising minority voices.

    Many of us will agree with the statements from both Dr Rosemary Howell and William Ury that the first constructive step is to reframe the context of the conflict by helping parties reflect on the cultural background dynamics shaping the narrative and expectations of each party (and their tribe). It is also useful to adopt the ‘balcony strategy’, as explained by Ury, as well as considering the other party’s perspectives to get the full context. 

    I encourage all to employ the use of an acronym of the word ‘cultural’ to remind us of the full scope of a cultural background: Commonly Understated Lores, Traditions, Understandings, Rituals, Expectations, Assumptions, Legacy.

    By reframing the context of conflict, participants become more empowered and are in a better position to see life from all sides which then prepares them to confer more civilly with others in a joint constructive discourse as all parties seek to bridge the current impasse with practical and realistic solutions that meet the legitimate needs of all.

    But is this enough to break the polarization?

    After a decade of mediation, I think not; that is, unless we are prepared to adapt the process and embrace the culturally embedded needs of each party rather than blindly use the standard dominant culture’s approach (i.e. western culture). It is a whole new playing field!

    I make ‘A Call for a new Intercultural Competence Playbook in Mediating social transformation’ in a recently published peer-reviewed research paper. I posit a new level where the future of mediation is intercultural. This paper can be located on the University of Montreal’s Online Law Journal Lex Electronica Volume 28 n. 5 2023 Special Dossier, Paper 13, pp. 195-215.

    We require a new toolkit, and the adventure of our time is to co-create it. Will you join me?

    A call for a new mediator playbook

    In my paper I claim that “every culture is in conflict; conflict is endemic in the process of culture metamorphosis.” My paper examines the paradox that conflict is intrinsic to every culture, yet there is little attention to the ‘culture’ norms in resolving that conflict. I refer to original thinkers such as Hofstede and Ting-Toomey and compare their contributions to the change in intercultural understanding since.

    We are in an unprecedented global pandemic where cultural norms and expectations are under threat, in individualistic and collectivist cultures. We face existential threats from climate change and environmental catastrophes. We need a new mediator playbook for effective intercultural negotiation and issue resolution.

    All professionals can acquire intercultural skills, mentorship, or supervision; join immersion events to extend intercultural awareness and communications skills; foster inclusive work environments; adapt coaching methods; cultivate intelligence about cultural differences; and engage with a positive intercultural predisposition, and approach. 

    Everyone can actively facilitate social transformation by making peace with the other cultures in your land as a vital forerunner to effective intercultural mediation of conflicts. 

    To allow peace a chance, we must unlock and activate intercultural competence in mediation!

    I invite your active participation in reading my paper and responding to the recommendations I put forward. 

    For this playbook to succeed our approach must be intercultural. Let’s start now. Welcome aboard!

    Author biography
    Rory Gowers is a Master of Dispute Resolution MDR, a Master of Education MEd, an intercultural mediator, and a business strategist, residing in Brisbane, Australia. Rory has extensive international experience as a visionary business problem solver, and certified results coach. Rory’s mission is to facilitate a more respectful world by inspiring people and groups to transform business ecosystems with practical sustainable solutions with a vision to facilitate a place for all and peace for all in our time. Contact Rory via
    Webpage: www.myRESPECTability.com 
    Email: rory.gowers@gmail.com 
    Mobile: +61 425292811
    LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/constructiveconflictsolutions

    Why are US lawyers allowed to lie while negotiating?

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    Robert Angyal SC and Nicholas Saady

    The late William Rehnquist, when Chief Justice of the US Supreme Court, gave many speeches at law schools. For a while, to lighten the tone, he started each speech with a ‘lawyer joke’.

    Example: What is the difference between a bad lawyer and a good lawyer? Answer: A bad lawyer makes a case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer. Example: What looks good on a lawyer? Answer:  A Doberman.

    But Rehnquist abandoned his practice when he discovered two things: First, the lawyers in the audience did not think the jokes were funny. Second, the non-lawyers in the audience did not realise they were jokes.[1]

    Rehnquist’s discoveries illustrate a problem for the U.S. legal profession: Public distrust.  A 2020 Gallup poll found that only 3% of people surveyed found lawyers’ honesty and ethics to be “very high”, and only 18% found them to be “high”.[2] This public distrust is a perennial source of concern to the national legal body, the American Bar Association.  Its journal regularly features articles such as “What can lawyers do to combat their bad PR?”, which suggests that “carefully executed social media presences” can “build trust, erasing one lawyer joke at a time”.[3]

    Rather than carefully curating  lawyers’ social media profiles, we suggest that a better approach to building public trust in lawyers would be revocation of  the American Bar Association rule that allows lawyers to lie when negotiating.  Yes, astonishingly, a disciplinary rule promulgated by the ABA (Model Rule 4.1(a)) allows lawyers to lie about non-material facts when negotiating on behalf of a client.

    The very existence of that rule seems problematic. When you look at its legal meaning (or lack of), it becomes even more problematic.  Despite several attempts to define and limit the circumstances in which the rule allows US lawyers to lie, its meaning remains unclear.

    One such attempt was a formal ABA ethics opinion, five single-spaced pages long, with 22 footnotes.[4] (The irony inherent in issuing an “ethics” opinion defining when lawyers can legally tell lies apparently was lost on the ABA.)  The perceived need for such a detailed guide to interpreting a one-sentence rule was itself an acknowledgment of the difficulty of interpreting it. We analyse the ABA’s opinion in a just-published law review article and conclude that it contains no coherent statement of principle and leaves the reader no wiser about what the rule means. Other attempts have been similarly futile — even failing to clarify the meaning of the most basic concept on which the rule is predicated: The distinction between material and non-material facts.

    The justification for allowing US lawyers to lie about non-material facts seems to be that the recipients of the lies will not be harmed by them — because they will not rely on them, or not regard them as communicating facts. But if legally permissible false statements are trivialised to this extent, why bother making them? Better to tell the truth all the time and gain a reputation for trustworthiness.  On the other hand, if more substantive false statements are allowed by the rule, how can it possibly be justified?

    This, we conclude, is an inescapable dilemma generated by a rule permitting lawyers to tell lies. The dilemma explains why all attempts to date to explain the meaning of the rule have failed.  It also explains why any further attempts would be equally futile.

    Allowing lawyers to lie affects the image of the profession detrimentally and intensifies public distrust of it. It does enormous damage to the credibility and the moral authority of lawyers. It is damaging in another way also. If you know that the lawyer for your opponent is allowed to legally lie to you during a mediation in some, undefined, circumstances, the only prudent thing to do is to assume they are lying all the time and to disbelieve everything they tell you. So the rule not only generates public mistrust of lawyers, but also makes negotiations highly inefficient, because the parties cannot take anything they are told at face value.

    The good news is that there is a straightforward solution to the problems raised in this post: Require lawyers to tell the truth, all the time (which is the position in Australia).  Rather than advocating PR to improve the public image of lawyers, the ABA should heal this self-inflicted wound by revoking Model Rule 4.1(a).

    Robert Angyal SC is an Australian barrister and mediator and was admitted in the District of Columbia for 40 years. Nicholas Saady is a New York and Australian lawyer and mediator. Their law review article “Legal Lying? Comparatively Analyzing US and Australian Lawyers’ Obligations of Truthfulness in Mediation” has just been published in [2021] 21 Pepperdine Dispute Resolution Law Journal 355 (Issue 2).

    [1] Marc Galanter, Lowering the Bar: Lawyer Jokes & Legal Culture (The University of Wisconsin Press 2006) at p. 3.

    [2] Gallup, “Honesty/Ethics in Professions | Gallup Historical Trends” (2020) https://news.gallup.com/poll/1654/honesty-ethics-professions.aspx.

    [3] Danielle Braff, “What can lawyers to combat their bad PR?”, ABA Journal (February 1, 2020) https://www.abajournal.com/magazine/article/many-people-ignore-their-legal-needs-because-they-dont-trust-attorneys-what-can-lawyers-do-to-combat-their-bad-pr.

    [4] ABA Committee on Ethics and Professional Responsibility, “Obligation of Truthfulness in Negotiation and Mediation”, Formal Opinion 06-439 (2006).