What do we Call Ourselves Blog: Conflict Manager or Dispute Resolver?

Posted on 12/12/2025 by Peter Condliffe

Peter Condliffe PhD and Claire Holland PhD
This blog is a summary of a more substantive paper currently in preparation and is based on that paper: See Condliffe, P and Holland C, What Do we Call Ourselves: Conflict Manager or Dispute Resolver, in preparation.

Introduction

This blog has come about as a result of the author’s collaboration on a new and seventh edition of Conflict Management: Theory and Practice (previously titled ‘Conflict Management: A Practical Guide’ Lexis Nexis, 2019). Earlier editions had been written by a single author, and decisions regarding framing, scope, and terminology had therefore not required negotiation. The co-authorship of the new edition thus offered an opportunity to revisit, clarify, and reaffirm the foundational assumptions that have shaped the book since its inception.

Among the most consequential of these framing decisions was the title itself, Conflict Management. Since the publication of the first edition in 1991, this term has been deliberately preferred over the more commonly used ‘disputeresolution’. This choice was not incidental. It reflected an underlying set of conceptual, theoretical, and practical commitments that distinguished the work from other texts in the field and has continued to guide its evolution over subsequent editions. After thorough discussion, the authors reaffirmed their decision to retain Conflict Management in the title, recognising it as central to the book’s epistemological and pedagogical identity.

There are a number of reasons why this may be important because creating “mental models” of our interventions as conflict managers can effect how we behave and make decisions.¹ They also help us with longer term, structural and value-based conflict interventions. They can also, we believe, keep us more process oriented and culturally aligned and responsive.

Our discussion unfolded in three ways summarised below.

The Conceptual Conversation

A foundational step was engaging with the concept of conflict management and particularly the term conflict. Although widely used across scholarly and practitioner discourses, conflict remains an inherently complex and contested concept.² It resists a singular definition and is interpreted variously depending on disciplinary orientation, cultural context, and situational dynamics. In both teaching and professional practice, defining what conflict is, and perhaps more importantly what it means, has proven to be a persistent challenge.³ Increasingly, pedagogical approaches have shifted from prescriptive definitions toward participatory inquiry, encouraging learners and practitioners to articulate, compare, and synthesise their own understandings of conflict.⁴

We concluded that there were five key interrelated dimensions (perception, interpersonal interaction, interdependence, intrapersonal dynamics, and emotion) which would enable us to provide a conceptual scaffold for understanding these terms. This conceptual argument suggests that conflict is best approached not as a discrete event or condition but as a complex, evolving process embedded in human cognition, emotion, and social relationships. Recognising this multidimensionality provides a conceptual foundation for understanding why management, rather than resolution, may more accurately capture the ongoing, adaptive work required in navigating conflictual human experiences. Our perspective is broadly ‘social constructivist’ in orientation.⁵

Like Avruch⁶ and Lederach⁷ have argued, we believe conflict is both embedded in and expressive of cultural patterns, the shared symbols, narratives, and cognitive schemas that structure how groups perceive and respond to difference. Understanding conflict, therefore, requires a careful examination of the cultural knowledge and everyday assumptions that shape how people interpret social reality.

We were further challenged by the ambiguity and interchangeability of key terms, particularly conflict and dispute. Although frequently used as synonyms in everyday and professional discourse, these terms carry distinct theoretical and practical implications. Conflict can be understood as a dynamic process of disagreement, tension, or grievance that emerges within or between individuals and groups.⁸ In contrast, a dispute represents a more specific and manifest expression of conflict, such as an event or situation in which opposing parties directly express incompatible or opposing positions or claims.⁹ In this sense, we consider conflict to be a broader term than dispute.

We were particularly influenced in this respect by the work of Australian diplomat and scholar John Burton, whose pioneering work in conflict analysis continues to influence both international and domestic peace studies. He argued for a sharp distinction between disputes and conflicts.¹⁰ According to Burton, “conflicts are struggles between opposing forces, struggles with institutions, that involve inherent human needs in respect of which there can be limited or no compliance.”¹¹ In other words, disputes may be resolved through negotiation or procedural settlement, whereas conflicts reflect structural or identity-based tensions that resist simple resolution because they implicate people’s basic needs for recognition, security, and belonging.¹²

Whilst we have some issues with Burton’s distinctions it remains conceptually powerful and moving forward from this perspective, the essential task lies not in eliminating conflict but in managing it adaptively and contextually. For us then it is preferable to base the distinction between conflict and dispute on process rather than on the possibility of resolution. A dispute represents a particular response or manifestation within the broader process of conflict, not a fundamentally different phenomenon.

Conceptualising practice as conflict management allows for a more comprehensive engagement with the full range of human experience embedded in conflictual relationships.

The Inclusivity Conversation

The other discussion we had, and are having, arises from our’ extensive practical experience as mediators, trainers, facilitators and mentors. Over many years of practice, the authors have predominantly been supporting individuals and groups in conflict management rather than definitive conflict resolution.

By shifting our focus then to conflict management we recognise that successful practice may involve containment, transformation, or construction of ongoing relational processes, not just the ‘end’ of conflict. This distinction has implications for practitioner identity, process design and expectation-setting for participants.

This inclusive orientation aligns with recent Australian standards and guidelines. For example, the Australian Standards authority’s publication of AS 10002:2022 – Guidelines for complaint management in organisations reflects a shift in terminology from “resolution/resolving” to terms such as “management/managing”, “outcome”, “finalised/ addressed”.¹³ This shift underscores the importance of process language that accommodates a range of outcomes and recognises the ongoing dynamics of conflicts.

This suggests that organisational, interpersonal or societal conflict may be better framed through inclusive, process-oriented language rather than endpoint-oriented labels. For those managing organisations such as a complex court or legal bodies, this may also be a pertinent issue. We were pleased to see, for instance, in the commercial litigation context, the Honourable Chief Justice of Queensland, Helen Baskill, recently observed, after seeing a recent text by Condliffe that the term “conflict management” rather than “dispute resolution” could have resonance in developing better systemic processes and practices in the court context that she manages.¹⁴

From an academic perspective, this inclusivity argument finds support in the literature on conflict management systems and dispute resolution in Australia. Australian scholars have noted the limitations of purely settlement-oriented approaches and the value of conflict management systems that emphasise ongoing dialogue, relational maintenance and the design of integrated conflict management processes.¹⁵

The Productive Social Change Conversation

We also considered that, beyond the interpersonal and organisational realms, conflict has a profound relationship with society and social transformation which is important to us as practitioners. As American philosopher John Dewey once said,

Conflict is the gadfly of thought. It stirs us to observation and memory. It instigates us to invention. It shocks us out of sheep-like passivity. Conflict is the sine qua non of reflection and ingenuity.¹⁶

From this perspective, conflict does more than disrupt. Conflict can stimulate not only economic and scientific change but also the overthrow of old norms and institutions. It is through contested ideas and practices that norms evolve and institutions adapt.¹⁷

This insight aligns us with classical sociological theory.¹⁸ According to Coser for example, conflict only becomes dysfunctional within social systems that lack sufficient tolerance for conflict. We also realise that our text owes much in the field of conflict theory to Morton Deutsch, one of the founders of modern conflict management theory, whose modelling emphasized both competitive and cooperative frameworks in conflict.¹⁹

Putting this all together we conclude that conflict, when managed constructively, is not just a problem to be avoided but can drive positive social change.

Conclusion

Together, these arguments we believe reasserts conflict management as a more encompassing, process-centred and socially responsive framework for practice. It orients our preference to refer to ourselves as conflict managers rather than dispute resolvers in our professional practices.

Authors Biography

Peter Condliffe PhD is a barrister, teacher and mediator. He has also been previously employed in several academic, management and human rights roles including with the United Nations. He is an experienced teacher having developed and presented courses in universities and other organisations. He is a past chair of The Australian Mediator and Dispute Resolution Standards (AMDRAS) Board and long-serving member of the Victorian Bars’ ADR Committee. He was instrumental in the development of the new national AMDRAS Standards.

Claire Holland PhD is an experienced academic, trainer, mediator and consultant. She has worked nationally and internationally as a mediation and conflict management specialist, and in training and capacity development roles. She has worked in complex and protracted settings on the Thailand Myanmar border and in the Philippines and has carried out consultant-based work in the Solomon Islands and Papua New Guinea. Claire is a trainer and coach mentor with the Conflict Management Academy, specialising in conflict analysis, conflict coaching, leadership and mediation training. Claire is the former Director of the Masters of Conflict Management and Resolution at James Cook University and a founding board member and past Chair of Mediators Beyond Borders Oceania.

Bartoli A, Nowak A and Bui-Wrzosinska L, ‘Mental Models in the Visualization of Conflict Escalation and Entrapment: Biases and Alternatives’, IACM 24th Annual Conference Paper, 3–6 July 2011, p.3-5, <http://scar.gmu.edu/presentations-proceding/12857> ↩︎
See generally Peter L Berger and Thomas Luckmann, The Social Construction of Reality: A Treatise in the Sociology of Knowledge (Anchor Books, 1966); Johan Galtung, ‘Violence, Peace, and Peace Research’ (1969) 6(3) Journal of Peace Research 167; John Paul Lederach, Preparing for Peace: Conflict Transformation Across Cultures (Syracuse University Press, 1995); Morton Deutsch, ‘An Experimental Study of the Effects of Cooperation and Competition upon Group Process’ (1949) 2(3) Human Relations 199; Peter T Coleman, ‘Characteristics of Protracted, Intractable Conflict: Toward the Development of a Metaframework’ (2003) 9(1) Peace and Conflict: Journal of Peace Psychology 1; Daniel Bar-Tal, Intractable Conflicts: Socio-Psychological Foundations and Dynamics (Cambridge University Press, 2013) ↩︎
Tjosvold, Dean. (2006). Defining Conflict and Making Choices About Its Management: Lighting the Dark Side of Organizational Life. International Journal of Conflict Management. 17. 87-95. 10.1108/10444060610736585. ↩︎
See for example, Ciobanu (2018), Active and Participatory Teaching Methods. European Journal of Education May August 2018 Volume 1, Issue 2. ↩︎
See Lederach J, Preaching for Peace: Conflict Transformation Across Cultures, Syracuse University Press, New York, 1995, pp8-10. ↩︎
Avruch, K. (1998). Culture and conflict resolution. United States Institute of Peace Press. ↩︎
Lederach, J. P. (1997). Building peace: Sustainable reconciliation in divided societies. United States Institute of Peace Press. ↩︎
Condliffe and Holland, 2025, s 1.5; Boulle, 2005, p 83. ↩︎
Moore, C. W. (2014). The mediation process: Practical strategies for resolving conflict (4th ed.). Jossey-Bass. ↩︎
Burton, J. W. (1996). Conflict resolution: Its language and processes. Scarecrow Press. ↩︎
Burton, J. W. (1996) f. 28, p 21. ↩︎
Burton, J. W. (1990). Conflict: Resolution and prevention. Macmillan. ↩︎
Australian Standard 10002:2022 Guidelines for complaint management in organizations (ISO 10002:2018, NEQ); SOCAP,. Guidelines for Complaint Management in Organisations: Comparison of the 2014 and 2022 Editions, (AS 10002:2022), see https://<www.socap.org.au/public/98/files/SOCAP%20Member_Info_Sheet_2022_LR.p ↩︎
Article Series: Mediation: Australia’s Place in the International Scene – AMDRAS. ↩︎
Boulle, L., & Field, R. (2021). Australian dispute resolution: Law and practice. LexisNexis Butterworths; Van Gramberg, B. (2005). Managing workplace conflict: Alternative dispute resolution in Australia. The Federation Press. ↩︎
Dewey J,Human Nature and Conflict, Modern Library, New York, 1930, p 30. ↩︎
Deutsch (1973) ↩︎
Lewis Coser, The Functions of Social Conflict. New York: The Free Press, 1956; Beyond Intractability, Summary of “The Functions of Social Conflict”, <https://www.beyondintractability.org/bksum/coser-functions> accessed 1^st November 2025. ↩︎
Deutsch, M, The Resolution of Conflict: Constructive and Destructive Processes, Yale University Press, New Haven ↩︎

Sometimes You Need to Be Seen to Be Heard: Three Easy Ways to Visualize What Matters in Your Dispute

Posted on 22/05/2025 by Milan A Nitopi

Dan Berstein & Robert Bergman
This article has been republished with permission and the original publication can be located at Mediate.com.

It can be difficult to get on the same page when you are caught in the middle of an adversarial dispute. Each party has their own biases – they want to win! Amidst a deluge of seemingly endless “facts” to pick from, sometimes it can feel like the parties are living in entirely different universes. Seeing this, dispute resolution professionals often end up asking themselves: “how can I bring these people together so we are all talking in the same world?”

One answer is visualizations. This article shares how a dispute resolver (or an ambitious party) can use visualizations to accomplish progress in their matter. It was written by Dan Berstein, a mediator living with bipolar disorder who often finds himself amidst complicated conflicts related to his mental health advocacy work – with help from Bob Bergman, the founder of NextLevel™ Mediation.

Dan shares his struggles to visualize different problems and disputes related to his advocacy work and Bob provided the background of how Next Level Mediation’s software can do it almost instantly, and better than a person could on their own.

1: Illustrating Harms

Living with a mental illness means that I have behavioral differences that can lead to my being stigmatized and rejected, or just the fact that I am open with my bipolar disorder can be a reason some people form worries or biases that lead to them pulling away. On an organization-wide level, this kind of behavior can ripple out across people.

I had a dispute with one organization where they produced records, including their private e-mail correspondences, revealing dozens of people passing around disparaging comments about me and/or making plans to reduce or cut contact with me. I was working on a resolution process with their outside counsel and I felt that they were not appreciating how damaging it had been for me to be targeted with these negative predispositions and pushed away (in manners large and small) from so many people. Eventually, I developed a crude organizational network analysis (ONA) chart to demonstrate the network of people involved:

A screenshot of a computerDescription automatically generated

Through the use of this visualization, I then created a system that could be used to visualize any [i] Explicit Shunning, [ii] Ghosting (No Response), [iii] Short Responses, [iv] Delays, [v] Lies, [vi] Disparagements, and [vii] Mistakes – charting how they flowed between people and their impact.

This was incredibly valuable to me as a tool in my dispute, as well as for my personal coping with the trauma of experiencing so much rejection. However, it was also incredibly tedious and difficult to create.

In my search for software that could help make it simpler, I connected with Bob Bergman, who explained how NextLevel™ Mediation can create a diagram to map this kind of network analysis in minutes just by you uploading your dataset and asking the right queries:

The NextLevel Approach to Visualizing Impact

In the example above, the uploading of email communication to the NextLevel™ Mediation platform document research assistant can produce the following example (note these do not use real data, and are meant to illustrate):

QUERY: Visualize the roles, interests, and power dynamics of parties involved by creating a stakeholder diagram

RESULT:

*Description: This diagram captures the roles and interests of each stakeholder, along with arrows representing the influence, authority, and relationships between them.*

QUERY: Create an ONA diagram that can help visualize any Explicit Shunning, Ghosting, short Responses, Delays, and Disparagements, and how they flowed between people

Description: This diagram shows how various negative interactions flow between people and highlights their impact on communication and relationships within the organization. Each arrow represents a type of interaction, such as shunning or ghosting, and the direction indicates the flow of this interaction.

2: Documenting Delays and Timelines

In one dispute, an organization was accusing me of causing delays, which had lasted close to 9 months. It hurt my feelings to be falsely accused of this so I sat down and pored over all of our past correspondences, mapping out the delays.

I found that their changes in staff and processes were responsible for, I believed, over 70% of the delays even though they had perceived such high delays from me (presumably due to their frustrations). This analysis was a tedious process and I was worried that people would think I was weird, perhaps due to my mental illness, for even undertaking it.

The NextLevel™ Mediation platform was, once again, the answer to my prayers. Not only does it do all of the work for me, and faster – but I can just tell someone I used this software without being judged as some kind of oddball for having created the chart myself. Here are example results with some anonymous data:

QUERY: Using the uploaded documents, create a sequence diagram of the dispute timeline and possible delays:

*Description: This sequence diagram captures the interactions and discussions among different participants as they address the causes and effects of project delays over time.*

QUERY: Create a user journey diagram for the mediator given the delays in email responses and their emotional effects.

Description: This diagram outlines the steps the mediator takes, from receiving notifications of delayed email responses to analyzing communication patterns, considering emotional impacts, and reporting outcomes to stakeholders.

3: Identifying What Matters

The NextLevel™ Mediation platform is about more than just charts. You can also just ask it questions so it can use its “brain” to digest all of the meaningful facts and help you stay focused on the big picture. This is important for me – even if only as a gut check – as my mental illness means I can be prone to becoming obsessive and to fixating on some facts at the exclusion of others. NextLevel™ is an objective way to get a sense of the big picture.

Beyond asking it for charts and diagrams, you can also generate tables to help you organize key information. Take a look at the table it generated when asked what might be the relevant and irrelevant facts for a discrimination claim (both for the alleged victim to collect, and for the alleged discriminator who is defending themselves):

If you have ever found yourself overwhelmed sorting through what happened, or just looking for a way to double-check your perspective – the NextLevel™ Mediation platform can instantly provide you breakdowns and summaries like this to help you find your way.

Conclusion

Seeing is believing, but it can be difficult to create the right picture. Visualizations can help resolve disputes if you know how to use them. This article talked about different charts you can use to visualize the scale of damages, the responsibility for delays, and which facts prove disparities. We also shared how you can go use NextLevel™ Mediation, right now, to create charts like this of your own (and so much more).

It can seem intimidating to enter the world of charts and graphics and bring them into your dispute, but it can also add a lot of value. I am grateful that there is software like NextLevel™ Mediation to help make something that can seem – at first – to be complicated into an easy, user-friendly, and fast process.

Here are some ideas of ways NextLevel™ can help:

Collect and scan all of your data from a situation into its platform, including e-mails and documents, and ask it to tell you the key points that matter, and the key things that matter to each party
Use it to instantly chart relationships with people and show patterns of impact and harm
Have it list the points of disagreement between the parties
Create timelines and sequence diagrams to show the course of events and simplify a complicated, convoluted set of facts into something precise and digestible

Disputes are often painful. We find ourselves in so much distress that it can help to use an AI-empowered software assistant to keep track of the facts so we don’t have to worry – and to paint the big picture summaries of what matters so we don’t get lost.

Author Biography

Dan Berstein is a mediator living with bipolar disorder who uses conflict resolution best practices to promote empowering mental health communication and prevent mental illness discrimination. His company, MH Mediate, has helped thousands of professionals and organizations be empowering, accessible, and non-discriminatory toward people with disclosed or suspected mental health problems. Dan holds degrees from the Johns Hopkins School of Public Health and the Wharton School. He is the author of the 2022 book, Mental Health and Conflicts: A Handbook for Empowerment.

Robert Bergman is a seasoned decision science expert with over 60 years of experience in software engineering, system dynamics, and strategic planning. He is the founder and CEO of NextLevel Mediation, a SaaS platform that applies decision analytics, Game Theory, and AI to dispute resolution. His expertise spans multi-criteria decision-making methodologies (AHP, ANP, MAUT), mediation, negotiation, and military systems such as flight simulations. Previously, he held senior leadership roles at Intel, focusing on mobile strategy and cybersecurity, and has consulted widely in strategic decision science. Bergman is also a published researcher in AI, technology addiction, and the future of dispute resolution.

Informed, Involved, Inclusive: Why MIMI, why NOW, and why ME?

Posted on 20/03/2025 by Milan A Nitopi

Rory Gowers & Milan Nitopi
This article is Part 3 of 3 in our series ‘Informed, Involved, Inclusive’.

Rory and Milan (left to right) presenting at the 12th Conference World Mediation Forum – Foro Mundial de Mediación in Brazil in November 2024.

The story of fisherman Mark and how mediators are not so different…

Mark Schenk recently shared a fishing story to illustrate when 90% isn’t enough.¹ Mark tells us that he loves beach fishing, and beach worms make great bait–but at $9 each, he decided to catch his own. Turns out, it’s trickier than he expected.

Over several months, Mark learned to pick the right beaches, attract worms, spot them, and get them to latch onto bait. But despite all that effort, he would spend two hours catching just one or two worms. He kept missing the final step–grabbing them.

Frustrated, Mark studied everything there was to know about catching worms and learned insight from a highly experienced fisherman. That’s when he discovered the problem, that his instincts were wrong. Mark was using a pincer grip, like picking up a pencil. But the right way? He needed to press the flat his thumb into the first joint of his index finger.

Once Mark changed his grip, he started catching worms immediately–but only if he was focused. Whenever his attention lapsed, old habits crept back.

We share this story because intercultural mediation is not so different.

Although Mark spent months learning the skills and techniques to catch beach worms, it would be entirely futile as what he lacked was insight and experience. Once he learned the ways of experienced fishermen, his ability to catch worms increased exponentially.

Although mediators might be highly trained and skilled in their own right, they can lack the experience and insight required to mediate intercultural interactions effectively. Mediators can prepare meticulously, understand the key players, and enter negotiations with good intentions–but it is just not enough. Like Mark, they can often rely on ingrained instincts that don’t quite translate in another cultural context.

What is missing within intercultural mediation?

It is simply not enough to just understand different cultures, it is about recognising and appreciating how other people perceive fairness, respect, and the process within their own cultural lens. Ask yourself this:

Am I engaging with each parties’ culture on their own terms?
Am I identifying and discerning their expectations, needs, interests, or concerns accurately (including what they may require for the process to feel appropriate and fair)?
Am I adapting my approach to mediation so that each party can contribute their best in achieving mutually beneficial outcomes?

Without this level of intercultural predisposition, negotiations by and between parties may seem productive on the surface, but will fall apart in practice—just like Mark spending hours on the beach with only one or two worms to show for his efforts.

Why MIMI is the missing link–especially in 2025!

The world is shifting rapidly. Geopolitical tensions, economic realignments, and global challenges mean that current top-level negotiation skills are no longer enough.

Mediators need more than just knowledge of culture, they need an intercultural predisposition–a first-hand experience which complements their current knowledge and skills. The ability to move beyond rigid frameworks and adapt in real time to cultural expectations will produce fairness and respect from multiple perspectives.

Mediators must facilitate an environment where all parties can contribute their best, even when they feel like they are in foreign territory. Without this, agreements that are technically sound lack true buy-in, and those agreements will unravel under pressure or strain.

The cost of misalignment is growing. Whether in business, diplomacy, or public service, failure to navigate cultural expectations means failed projects, lost trust, and missed opportunities. MIMI helps mediators to develop that final 10% needed to excel within cultural interactions, and this cultural adaptability then turns competence into mastery. Like Mark’s fishing lesson, it’s a small shift that changes everything.

Who else can benefit from MIMI?

Mediators are not the only ones who can benefit from what MIMI has to offer. Leaders, coaches, negotiators, managers or executives in business, lawyers and legal professionals, doctors and nurses can all benefit immensely by mastering these intercultural skills.

Reflect on your own experiences… Has there ever been a time in your life, or the life of a person you might know, where there was a cultural disconnect? Where expectations within that interaction were not adequately met? Where needs, interests, or concerns were not accurately addressed? If you have, now imagine how others might feel where there is an even greater cultural disconnect–where the stakes, risks, and loss are substantial.

At MIMI, we have spent years refining our craft, and now we are guiding you to develop that same instinct—not by giving rigid rules, but by helping you see and feel the process differently. By completing our training program, you will begin your journey in becoming a master of intercultural mediation and you will be able to assist others in ways that are culturally relevant.

MIMI will teach you how intercultural mastery can become second nature, just like Mark adjusting his grip. MIMI is not just another training program–it is a transformational shift. This kind of shift, once made, cannot be unseen and will contribute to much beneficial change.

Join the MIMI Pilot Program—A Transformative Experience!

We invite you to express your interest in completing our pilot program and to contribute your thoughts on how we can make it better.

We are selecting only 8 accomplished professionals for the exclusive pilot cohort: the Mastering Intercultural Mediation Initiatives (MIMI) Program. If you would like to be a part of this transformative experience, express your interest here.

Expressions of interests close 31 May 2025.

Who should apply?

✔️ Experienced mediators who have navigated complex, high-stakes disputes.
✔️ Senior leaders and negotiators who operate across cultural boundaries.
✔️ Professionals with a proven ability to build rapport in challenging intercultural situations.

As a pilot participant, you will:

Be the first to experience MIMI
Expand on your intercultural toolkit
Join an elite mastermind, shaping the future of intercultural mediation

Don’t let that worm get away… Apply today!

See Mark Schenk’s article at https://www.anecdote.com/ ↩︎

Informed, Involved, Inclusive: The Proposed Curriculum

Posted on 24/02/2025 by Milan A Nitopi

Rory Gowers & Milan Nitopi
This article is Part 2 of 3 in our series ‘Informed, Involved, Inclusive’.

Disclaimer: This introductory story is a work of fiction and does not intend to resemble any person or their lived experiences. Names, persons, places, and incidents are products of the author’s imagination. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, or persons is purely coincidental.

In the past…
Ashita had a promising future in Aressa, Syria. As a rising star in the development of artificial intelligence, she was ecstatic when her supervisor pulled her aside on Friday afternoon to share exciting news—her talents had been noticed. Come Monday morning, she would step into a new role, a significant leap forward in her career. As she travelled home that evening, she imagined the innovations she would contribute and the problems she would solve. But by Sunday night, the world she knew was gone.

Then something happened…
The war arrived without warning. Bombs shattered in the night sky, and chaos erupted in the streets. Her family fled in the back of a cattle truck that night, carrying with them only what they could. As the days turned into weeks, and the weeks turned into months, her past was slowly stripped away as she crossed each border.

But eventually she arrived in her host country, and she was alone—her family was scattered, lost in the chaos of displacement. In her host country, Ashita faced a new kind of struggle. The temporary permit allowed her to stay, but it did not offer any sense of belonging. She could barely communicate her basic needs, let alone articulate her expertise in AI–employers saw a refugee, not a specialist. The locals eyed her with suspicion, their mistrust became a barrier she could not break down. Without any support or others willingness to understand, her talents and her livelihood began slipping away.

So now we’re doing this…
But there is another way. We offer a fresh and constructive path forward with specific application of the myRESPECTability model (Gowers, 2023) and through the Mastering Intercultural Mediation Initiatives (MIMI) training program. MIMI equips professionals in all fields with the skills to turn challenging intercultural communication into innovative and constructive dialogue with the involved stakeholders central to the issues in question. MIMI trained professionals will gain enhanced skills and competencies that enable them to facilitate sophisticated intercultural bridges to overcome long-standing cultural divides and reflect the current realities of our diverse, complex, and globalised world.

So we can have a future like this…
With skilled intercultural professionals, Ashita does not have to remain unseen. Professionals who are interculturally competent can help resolve situations–like Ashita’s–by adapting the standard mediation principles, processes and practices to ensure all parties feel able to express and address their interests, needs, and concerns in culturally relevant ways so that they may have an equal place at the table.

In this way, people who may be experiencing a sense of ‘out-culture’ can come into their foreground and make significant contributions for the benefit of the whole community as they now have an opportunity to share their insights and talents.

The Author/s have labeled this AI-generated content (AIGC). This indicates that this content was completely AI-generated or significantly edited with AI.

We share this so that we can create a future that bridges the gap between culture and encourages collaboration between people of all nations. We share this so that we can all work together to address global challenges and achieve solutions that promote peace, equity, and sustainability for all life on this planet. And, we share this so that we can equip the world with the knowledge and skills required for tomorrow’s challenges. But let us explain how we propose to do this…

In our first article we laid the foundations that underpin our proposed intercultural competency training model. In this article, we share our working developments that set out curriculum and rubric which outline the key assessments and learning objectives we intend to achieve.

As becoming interculturally competent is more than an intellectual and mindful journey, we decided it is crucial to centre our training model on participant transformation. This means ensuring that key learning objectives are met, including:

Participant engagement
Research informed learning
Self-reflection
Flexibility

MIMI Foundation 1: Interculturally Informed

As the first foundation is a structured learning process centered on establishing the baseline knowledge of intercultural competence, we decided that participants would benefit most by undergoing an intensive workshop whereby they can both learn theory as well as engage in practical exercises with their cohort.

We envision the workshop to be a total of 12 hours completed over a 3 day period (4 hours each day). Throughout the 3 days, participants will engage in collaborative style learning to learn intercultural theory as well as participate in group discussions and completion of case studies. Upon completion of the 3 days, participants will submit a portfolio detailing their reflections of the theory and activities they engaged in.

Group discussions will focus on key interculturality issues in mediation practice, root causes for communication and dialogue issues, as well as a discussion of case studies to address questions such as:

How did each party feel about the experience?
What was the impact on the parties?
What could the facilitator have done differently?
How did the different communication skills influence the outcome?
What does that tell us about the importance of intercultural principles in mediation?

We expect participants will satisfy the following rubric components to demonstrate their competence in being interculturally informed:

To engage in the workshop including all group discussions, case study analyses, and other activities. This will be evidenced by their attendance and their portfolio submission following the 3 days.
To learn and demonstrate an understanding of intercultural theory and its application to communication and dialogue within mediation practice. This will be evidenced by their portfolio submission following the 3 days.
To self-reflect on learnings, insights, and peer contributions. This will also be evidenced by their portfolio submission following the 3 days.

MIMI Foundation 2: Interculturally Involved

As the second foundation is centered on developing a deeper understanding of other-cultural needs, values, and expectations, we decided that participants would benefit most by undergoing a full other-culture immersion program whereby they can become practically involved to witness, first-hand, their stories, songs, and symbols.

We recommend that participants undergo 10 consecutive days of immersion (with no less than 3 consecutive days). However, it is not a ‘one size fits all’ situation. Some participants may require more or less time to become fully involved in the other-culture–and that is okay! We support flexibility and we encourage participants to be self-determined in their own learning. During and upon completion of their immersion experience, participants will be required to submit a portfolio documenting their daily and final reflections.

In documenting their daily reflections, participants will be prompted on a variety of intercultural issues, such as:

What is a specific cultural difference and similarity you experienced today?
What was a communication and dialogue challenge you perceived today?
How and why did you address and/or manage the intercultural challenge that you faced today?
Record one specific cultural story, song, or symbol that you experienced today.

In documenting their final reflection, participants will be prompted on key interculturality issues in mediation practice or root causes for communication and dialogue issues by drawing on their own knowledge, insights, and immersion experience, such as:

How have your learnings and experiences affected your approach to peoples of an other-culture in your day to day life and/or in your mediation practice?
What communication or dialogue skills will you bring into your life and/or mediation practice?
How are those communication or dialogue skills relevant to effective mediation practice?
What do your learnings and experiences tell you about the importance of intercultural principles in mediation?

We expect participants will satisfy the following rubric components to demonstrate their competence in being interculturally informed:

To engage in at least 3 days of immersion in the other-culture and demonstrate a willingness to participate despite feeling a sense of discomfort, unease, or unfamiliarity. This will be evidenced by their attendance and daily reflections.
To learn and develop an acceptance of the needs, interests, concerns, expectations of the other-culture in a way that is culturally relevant to their own intercultural interactions and mediation practice. This will be evidenced by their daily and final reflections.
To self-reflect on learnings, insights, and lived experience. This will also be evidenced by their daily and final reflections.

MIMI Foundation 3: Interculturally Included

As the third foundation is focused on putting learnings and reflections into practice, we decided that participants would benefit most by engaging in a final practical workshop to adapt their current core principles, practices, and processes to the interests, needs, concerns, and expectations of the other-culture they immersed themselves in.

We envision the workshop to be a total of 20 hours completed over a 5-day period (4 hours each day). Throughout the 5 days, participants will engage in activities such as group discussions, case studies, and role-play exercises. The key focus of this workshop is for participants to demonstrate they are able to accurately identify and address communication and dialogue issues within an intercultural context. Upon completion of the 5 days, participants will be required to submit an ‘Intercultural Practice Statement’ as well as a portfolio detailing the activities they engaged in.

Group discussions, case studies, and role-play exercises will focus on key interculturality issues in mediation practice, root causes for communication and dialogue issues, as well as a discussion of case studies to address questions such as:

How did each party feel about the experience?
What was the impact on the parties?
What could the facilitator have done differently?
How did the different communication skills influence the outcome?
What does that tell us about the importance of intercultural principles in mediation?

The ‘Intercultural Practice Statement’ is a refined methodology for intercultural interaction and participants will be required to present this with their cohort. This provides an opportunity for them, as well as their cohort, to share insights and experience so that they can learn from each other. Participants will be asked to address a final question such as:

What are you going to do differently (i.e., how are you planning to include your learnings and experience into your life) now that you are informed and involved with the other-culture?

We expect participants will satisfy the following rubric components to demonstrate their competence in being interculturally informed:

To engage in the workshop including all group discussions, case study analyses, role-plays, and other activities. This will be evidenced by their attendance and their portfolio submission following the 5 days.
To apply their learnings and insights accurately to identify and address communication and dialogue issues within an intercultural context and in a way that is culturally relevant to their own intercultural interactions and mediation practice. This will be demonstrated by their portfolio submission following the 5 days.
To present their intercultural practice statement to their cohort. This will be evidenced by their attendance and portfolio submission following the 5 days.
To self-reflect on learnings, insights, lived experience, and peer contributions. This will also be evidenced by their intercultural practice statement and portfolio submission following the 5 days.

Intercultural Competency Specialisation (optional add-on)
As an optional add-on, practitioner-based participants (mediators, family dispute resolution practitioners, lawyers, etc.) can elect to undergo a further 1.5 hour role-play assessment to apply their learnings in a practical scenario.

Our vision for the future is to incorporate this training model within leading institutions (such as mediator Recognised Accreditation Providers, Law Societies, Bar Associations, etc.) to develop an intercultural competency specialisation that practitioners can obtain and enhance their own competencies and professional practices.

Continuing Professional Development (CPD)

Each foundation addresses a different, but very necessary, aspect in intercultural competence development. But, because we believe that competency requires ongoing and continual development, the program will provide life-time access to resources and be supported by mentors, alumni, and peers in the online myRespectAbility community.

Professional Members will also receive exclusive discounts on registration in other myRespectAbility or Affiliate programs and workshops.

Participants who demonstrate extraordinary performance throughout the program may be invited to add a chapter to the Intercultural Competence Playbook–a journal that we will publish, print, and mail annually–and is an opportunity for all to learn from others’ insights and experiences.

Author Biography

Rory Gowers is a Master of Dispute Resolution (MDR), a Master of Education (MEd), an intercultural mediator, and a business strategist, residing in Greater Sydney, Australia. Rory has extensive international experience as a visionary business problem solver, and certified results coach. Rory’s mission is to facilitate a more respectful world by inspiring people and groups to transform business ecosystems with practical sustainable solutions with a vision to facilitate a place for all and peace for all in our time. Contact Rory via
Webpage: www.myRESPECTability.com
Email: rory.gowers@gmail.com
Mobile: +61 425 292 811
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/constructiveconflictsolutions

Milan Nitopi is an accredited lawyer and mediator with a Master of Laws in Family Dispute Resolution (LLM FDR). Milan has a passion concerning people, law, and resolution and he strives to equip people with skills for better communication and dialogue to address all kinds of conflict.
Contact Milan via
Email: manitopi@outlook.com
Mobile: +61 432 547 538
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/manitopi/

Written Off: Three Steps to Move Forward When You Feel Rejected

Posted on 13/02/2025 by Milan A Nitopi

Dan Berstein

Whatever the reason for it and whoever it comes from, rejection hurts.

In 2022 I wrote a book called Mental Health and Conflicts: A Handbook for Empowerment with hopes to teach people skills for managing challenging behaviors without writing off people with mental illnesses. At the time, this book represented a culmination of my life’s work and it meant a lot for to me that it found a home at the American Bar Association (ABA).

Three years later, my ABA affiliation was unfortunately terminated following a difficult saga, for me and many others, as I was wrestling with interpersonal struggles and bipolar symptoms. The news of my termination was very difficult. I have been hospitalized five times due to my bipolar disorder–always during times when I became overwhelmed by similar interpersonal challenges. During each episode, I would break down, my mind would get stuck on a problem, and I would decompensate into mania or even psychosis. My condition has a high risk for instability and suicide, with research showing that each subsequent episode means a decreased odds of returning to normal functioning.¹

Being terminated from the ABA overwhelmed me. It was a sudden emotional crisis that put me at risk. I required emergency medication, emergency therapy sessions, and emergency support from friends and family. We summoned all of the lessons from decades of managing my condition in order to make it through.

Even though it was an immensely challenging period in my life, this time something was different. In 2023, and as part of my professional work as a conflict resolver, I had developed a system for responding to avoidance, rejection, and social exclusion. I presented a three-step model to get through these especially challenging situations, which I call the 3 R’s, at the Association for Conflict Resolution conference and the Academy of American Law Schools ADR Works-In-Progress conferences.

Without the skills of the 3 R’s, I do not know how I would have coped with being terminated. That system consists of:

Respect.
Reply.
Reorient.

The 3 R’s approach readily lends itself to any situation and can be easily used by anyone when they face rejection from friends, family, colleagues. Here’s how it works:

1. Respect the person’s decision even if you find it stigmatizing or you disagree with it.

While it is tempting to try to convince them of your worth, dispel lies or inaccuracies, and seek ways to still have the relationship, it can also be dangerous.

Sadly, I’ve learned in my life that, given I’m open with my bipolar disorder, it is easy for people to stigmatize my persistence to fight being rejected. Studies have shown that it is common that people with bipolar disorders are sensationalized in the media (such as TV shows or movies, and other portrayals).² There is also research that shows people are more likely to worry someone that has a mental health problem is some kind of stalker.³ Amidst that kind of climate, it can be risky to continue contacting someone who may be seeing any follow-up through a stigmatizing lens. Arguing with their portrayal may only feed into the narrative.

Stigma aside, in any conflict it is helpful to separate the person’s decision to cut contact with you from the explanation you are given or the style with which it is delivered. It may feel offensive, demeaning, disrespectful to be ghosted or to hear a story that does not ring true or clearly is contrived. But no matter how poorly implemented or inaccurate the rejection may seem to be, it still provides notice of a decision: however painful the circumstances, this person wants to diminish or end their relationship to you.

Years of dispute resolution have taught me to prioritize self-determination,⁴ and made it easier for me to come to a place of accepting that a person made a rejection decision.

While it does not feel good to be rejected, it has been a relief to readily accept it instead of debating. If there are other problems related to what is happening, such as bullying or discrimination, it still can be best not to fight and instead look for other kinds of support.⁵

2. Reply one last time to confirm the boundary.

You may not always get a formal letter or confirmation (such as a letter of termination–like I received) when it comes to rejection and social exclusion with friends, family, or others.

We live in a world filled with “ghosting” patterns–where people just pull away without contact–and things are left rather ambiguous and unclear.⁶ Sometimes it can be extremely ambiguous, such as in one of the latest dating trends where people engage in “breadcrumbing” to keep romantic partners on the hook or on hold.⁷

This is why, whenever anyone seems to be avoiding contact with me, I send one final reply to let them know that I am acknowledging what I perceive to be their boundary to be and that I plan to follow it. Depending on your personal boundaries, you might also let them know you are available in the future if they change their mind on reconnecting. In the course of my mental illness discrimination advocacy work, I typically take that approach, with hopes that one day the people or organizations who are avoiding me will evolve and want to engage. In that case, I want them to know the door is still open for that.

Sending this reply is important because it is possible–given any ambiguity–that there was a misperception. Sometimes people will immediately let you know that they didn’t mean to make you feel rejected and they might undo the boundary. On the other hand, if they are intent on the rejection, your reply documents that you are honoring their boundary and that record can be helpful, particularly to guard against the stigmas mentioned earlier.

3. Reorient to next steps rather than stay stuck in pain.

This is my favorite “R” because this approach has truly changed my life. Before the 3 R’s, I would stay fixated obsessing on hating myself, endorsing self-stigmas, wallowing, and reliving the loss over and over whilst descending into a dark place in my mind.

But there is another way. If we commit to focusing on reorienting ourselves to discover new opportunities, we can enrich our lives. Since I started using the 3 R’s model in my life, I have connected with new friends and colleagues, developed new projects and partnerships, and become active in new communities–all because I decided to immediately accept the person’s decision to cut contact with me and start looking for new people and places to be involved instead. Since 2023, when I first created this system, my life has grown at a meteoric rate with many new opportunities which I have found and nurtured every time I reorient.

My initial connection to Australia came by my efforts to reach out to someone in early 2024 and during a time when I received a different rejection letter related to my anti-discrimination advocacy work. This new relationship was a welcoming one where we collaborated on programs, and eventually led to a conference invitation from someone else and then to my writing on this Blog. None of this would have happened if I had not decided to reorient and move forward. And that example is just a fraction of the rich relationships I have developed when I took chances on reorienting toward new things instead of fighting to cling onto what I had already lost.

I am sad that my bipolar disorder and interpersonal struggles led to difficult circumstances with the ABA and led to my termination. At the same time, I am grateful that the 3 R’s helped me get through it and land on my feet. This method has helped me in a time of need where I have felt unwelcomed in any community or with any person. Remembering to do it when I am feeling hurt has allowed me to make healthier, more empowering decisions.

Even when I was so dysregulated by my serious mental illness and wrestling with an influx of distressed energy, I was still able to tap into those 3 R’s to ensure I made the best possible decisions to:

Respect peoples’ choices instead of fighting to prove my worth,
Reply to work things out instead of begging to return, and,
Reorient to fill my life with opportunities that were a better fit for me and my sometimes-challenging mental health problems.

I will still love the American Bar Association, albeit from afar and via nostalgic memories, I still have a page posted summarizing much of my anti-discrimination work there and other projects from my four years as Co-Chair of the ABA’s Dispute Resolution Section Diversity Committee. During this time, I made many friends and did a lot of important work. Though I will certainly miss being connected with so many great opportunities and new ideas, I will keep reorienting amidst the loss. Meanwhile, I will always recommend that anyone who does have access avail themselves of the myriad of resources disseminated by the ABA and often developed from their community of over 200,000 members.

The 3 R’s have helped me prevent complete breakdowns and manage challenging times in my life. These skills have helped me find and new opportunities during times I might have otherwise fallen apart. Anyone can use this simple yet powerful system when they face rejection in their lives.

Author Biography

Gergel, T., Adiukwu, F., & McInnis, M. (2024). Suicide and bipolar disorder: opportunities to change the agenda. The Lancet Psychiatry; Peters, A. T., West, A. E., Eisner, L., Baek, J., & Deckersbach, T. (2016). The burden of repeated mood episodes in bipolar I disorder: results from the National Epidemiological Survey on Alcohol and Related Conditions. The Journal of nervous and mental disease, 204(2), 87-94. ↩︎
Klin, A., & Lemish, D. (2008). Mental disorders stigma in the media: Review of studies on production, content, and influences. Journal of health communication, 13(5), 434-449. ↩︎
Wheatley, R., & Underwood, A. (2023). Stalking and the impact of labelling “There’sa difference between my offence and a stalker”. Journal of criminal psychology, 13(2), 91-104. ↩︎
Baruch Bush, R. A., & Berstein, D. (2023). Orienting Toward Party Choice: A Simple Self-Determination Tool for Mediators. J. Disp. Resol., 1. ↩︎
Tuckey, M. R., Li, Y., Neall, A. M., Chen, P. Y., Dollard, M. F., McLinton, S. S., … & Mattiske, J. (2022). Workplace bullying as an organizational problem: Spotlight on people management practices. Journal of occupational health psychology, 27(6), 544. ↩︎
Freedman, G., Powell, D. N., Le, B., & Williams, K. D. (2019). Ghosting and destiny: Implicit theories of relationships predict beliefs about ghosting. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 36(3), 905-924. ↩︎
Navarro, R., Larrañaga, E., Yubero, S., & Víllora, B. (2020). Psychological correlates of ghosting and breadcrumbing experiences: A preliminary study among adults. International journal of environmental research and public health, 17(3), 1116. ↩︎

A Fresh Perspective on Conflict Management: Upcoming 7th Edition of a Seminal Text

Posted on 23/01/2025 by Dr Claire Holland

The enduring relevance of Conflict Management: A Practical Guide lies in its comprehensive exploration of approaches, strategies, tactics, and techniques essential for adopting a constructive and positive approach to conflict. Originally published in 1991 as a foundational text for practitioners, educators, and scholars in the field of conflict resolution, the book has evolved alongside the dynamic field of Alternative Dispute Resolution (ADR) in Australia. Now, the text is set to enter its seventh edition, reaffirming its significance in the discipline.

Authors Expertise

Dr. Peter Condliffe, the book’s author, has a distinguished career in the field. Serving as a Director on the Mediator Standards Board since 2018 and its Chairperson from 2023 to 2024, Peter has played a pivotal role in the NMAS Review and the transition to AMDRAS in Australia. As a practicing barrister and mediator in Victoria, his career has included leadership roles in management, human rights, and ADR, such as CEO of the Institute of Arbitrators and Mediators Australia, Director of Dispute Resolution Centres in Queensland’s Department of Justice and Attorney-General, and engagements with the United Nations. Across its six editions, the book has maintained a multidisciplinary framework reflective of Peter’s extensive expertise.

The upcoming edition will introduce Dr. Claire Holland as co-author. Claire is a practicing mediator, conflict coach, workplace facilitator, and trainer who brings a wealth of academic and practical knowledge to the text. Having used the book extensively in her teaching career, she will incorporate fresh perspectives and insights. Notably, Claire will introduce two new frameworks:

Conflict Analysis Framework: Co-developed with Dr. Judith Herrmann-Rafferty, this tool supports parties in conflict—and the professionals assisting them—to understand the dynamics of a conflict and make informed decisions about next steps.
Planned Approach to Conflict Engagement: Also co-developed by Herrmann-Rafferty and Holland, this framework provides advanced strategies for managing ongoing conflict. It integrates insights and approaches from neuroscience on emotional regulation, fostering cultural awareness, and emphasises sustainable methods for addressing ongoing conflict.

Call for Feedback

Condliffe and Holland are seeking input from practitioners, researchers, and readers to shape the new edition. Feedback on areas to retain, adapt, or expand is particularly welcome. As a text designed for both practical application and academic instruction, the authors are keen to ensure the content remains relevant to its diverse audience, from university courses to professional development settings.

Key Updates in the 7th Edition

The new edition, retitled Conflict Management and Resolution: Theory and Practice, reflects an evolving understanding of conflict. It acknowledges that resolution is not always achievable or desirable and incorporates broader perspectives on conflict engagement. Planned updates include:

Reflections on the new AMDRAS regulatory standards in Australia.
Expanded coverage of specialties, such as mediation, restorative justice, First Nations processes, complaints management, and group facilitation.
Updates on negotiation concepts and processes, incorporating recent scholarship.
Insights into online and AI-assisted dispute resolution.
Expanded references to feminist theory and contemporary ADR approaches, including dispute system design.
A comprehensive update to the history of ADR in Australia.

Proposed Topics for the New Edition

The seventh edition will include chapters on:

Navigating Conflict
Responding to Conflict
Managing Difficult Conversations
History of Dispute Resolution in Australia
Collaborative Practice
Contemporary Approaches to Conflict Management and Resolution
Negotiation
Mediation
Group Facilitation
Key Practitioner Skills in Conflict Management and Resolution
Managing Ongoing Conflict
Dispute System Design

Engage with the Authors

Practitioners and academics are encouraged to contribute by sharing research, case studies, or ideas that could enhance the upcoming edition. Your insights will help ensure that Conflict Management and Resolution: Theory and Practice continues to be an indispensable resource for anyone engaging with conflict management in theory or practice.

Stay tuned for the release of this significant update in late 2025—a resource designed to reflect the latest developments in conflict resolution and equip readers with the tools they need to navigate the complexities of modern conflicts.

Please feel free to contact or write to either of the authors:
Dr Peter Condliffe: pc@vicbar.com.au
Dr Claire Holland: claire.holland@jcu.edu.au

Informed, Involved, Inclusive: Laying The Foundations

Posted on 28/11/2024 by Milan A Nitopi

Rory Gowers & Milan Nitopi
This article is Part 1 of 3 in our series ‘Informed, Involved, Inclusive’.

Every culture is in conflict; and, we are all moderated by cultural norms and expectations. Where there is more cultural diversity, there is a greater chance for misunderstanding and an escalation of conflict.

In the context of meditation, facilitators who are not equipped with the necessary intercultural competencies risk undermining that process, which can contribute to difficult or unproductive communication and dialogue. Although competencies standards exist (such as the Intercultural Competence Specialisation by the International Mediation Institute), facilitator training in intercultural predisposition is limited.

We presented our proposition to counter this serious gap in mediator development at the 12th Conference World Mediation Forum – Foro Mundial de Mediación in Brazil in November 2024 in our address: ‘Informed, Involved, Inclusive: A New Chapter In Intercultural Competence’. The Mastering Intercultural Mediation Implementation (MIMI) training program is based on three core foundations:

Informed,
Involved, and,
Inclusive.

MIMI is a specific application of the my-RESPECT-ability model which entails the intercultural mediation principles, processes, and practices at the heart of the Intercultural Competence Playbook (Gowers 2023).

Visit my-RESPECT-ability to read more on the model or to enrol in introductory webinars.

In developing the MIMI training program we explored intercultural research concepts and approaches (including Dai & Chen, Sveiby & Skuthorpe, Gowers) as well as drawing on our combined lived experience and extensive mediation practice. Rory has lived in over 7 countries and brings insights from over a decade of real-life intercultural mediation practice (in public, private, and voluntary sectors).

Becoming interculturally competent is more than an intellectual and mindful journey. Therefore we decided it is crucial to centre our training model on participant transformation. As participants become more aware, more accepting, and more appreciative of an ‘other-culture’, they begin to develop competencies which enable them to facilitate intercultural interactions effectively.

An ‘other-culture’ is a class, community or sub-culture of any kind (social status, ethnicity, spiritual, gender identity, wealth, occupation, species, etc.) that is so different that it reveals in you a sense of personal discomfort or powerlessness (such as fear or anxiety or a capacity to interact). It is the feeling of being a total foreigner, in contrast to the feeling of being a relaxed tourist. It may be experienced as a feeling of alienation. This is what people from an other-culture experience when they enter into a new, dominant culture where they lack the capacity or the social skills to interact or negotiate on a level playing field.

Foreigner. 外人 Gaijin. 鬼佬 Gwáilóu. Stranieri. Gudiya. Alien.

The word ‘gudiya’ refers to non-Indigenous people in the context of Aboriginal-English. Indigenous Australians adapted English to communicate with non-Indigenous people after their traditional languages were stolen and is a variety of English, distinct from Australian English.

There are many words to refer to an ‘outsider’ and we all have experienced this feeling at some point in our lives.

Communication and dialogue is an essential and fundamental aspect of mediation, but how do we consider this through the lens of the three cultural motifs:

the Eastern “We”
the Indigenous “Be”
the Western “Me”

In a Western context, ideals such as self-determination and non-partisanship (including neutrality and impartiality) are often discussed as being critical to an effective mediated outcome. But what do these aspects actually mean with consideration of other-cultures?

Whereas in an Eastern context, the ideal of achieving harmony appears critical to an effective mediated outcome. And, in an Indigenous context, ideals of responsibility and collective existence appear critical to an effective mediated outcome. Yet the Western understanding of ‘mediation’ does not translate well with ideals belonging to other-cultures.

We see here that ethical practice is shaped by varying culturally embedded needs and these needs are not exclusive to just one specific cultural perspective. In the context of communication and dialogue, they illustrate the interests, needs, concerns, and expectations of other-cultures. Unless a mediator is interculturally aware, accepting, and appreciative of other-culture perspectives and ethical frameworks, their ability to facilitate effective and enduring outcomes is significantly diminished.

Where all parties to an intercultural dispute are able to express and address their interests, needs, and concerns in culturally relevant ways, then a more creative, sustainable, and harmonious outcome can be achieved.

Mastering Intercultural Competence

Our intercultural competence training model is built on three foundations:

Informed
Involved
Inclusive

Foundation 1: Informed (awareness)

The first foundation is focused on being better informed. By being better informed, we are led to an increased awareness. And, to be better informed we must turn our minds to the facts, feelings, and findings of intercultural research.

This foundation is a structured learning process centered on establishing the baseline knowledge of intercultural competence.

As it has been observed that a person’s experience of other-cultures is both an intellectual and mindful journey, knowledge of an other-culture is not itself enough to develop intercultural competence. Although the International Mediation Institute sets out the minimum standards for intercultural competence specialisation and set the pathway for internationally accepted mediation principles, we recognised that more was required in order to have a complete and comprehensive understanding of an other-culture.

In a Western context, unless we become aware and address our own inner conflict, we are unable to take a ‘balcony view’ of others’ conflict. By failing to adopt a balcony view, we lack impartiality and neutrality; concepts that are cornerstone to Western facilitative mediation practice. However, within other-cultures, a different approach might be taken.

Foundation 2: Involved (acceptance)

The second foundation is focused on being more involved. By being more involved, we are led to a greater acceptance of other-cultures. And, to be more involved we must immerse ourselves within an other-culture and listen to their stories, songs, and symbols.

We created this foundation to allow participants the opportunity to develop a deeper understanding of the other-cultures needs, values, and expectations by providing a full other-culture immersion program. This foundation is the heart of our training model.

This immersion program is crucial as participants must initially feel uncomfortable and confronted with unfamiliar aspects of an other-culture. This makes for a more profound intercultural learning experience. It is ourselves actually undergoing the change where we arrive at a deeper level of understanding and respect for other-cultures and their voice at the ‘table’.

As it takes time to begin immersing ourselves in an other-culture, some participants may elect to extend their immersion program to develop an even deeper understanding of the other-culture that they immersed themselves in.

Immersion is more than assimilation with, or imitation of, the other-culture. In their experience, participants learn respect for the values, needs, and expectations embedded within those other-cultures. It is to understand and accept that our eyes are but only one perspective in the world and that there are many eyes which look upon the face of this earth differently. All perspectives are valued.

Unlike how the International Mediator Institute Standards emphasise mediator proficiency of a particular culture and advocates for cross-cultural application, our approach is focused on competence in intercultural interaction.

To be cross-cultural is not to be intercultural. They are different. ‘Intercultural’ is described by Paula Schriefer as:

“communities in which there is a deep understanding and respect for all cultures. Intercultural communication focuses on the mutual exchange of ideas and cultural norms and the development of deep relationships. In an intercultural society, no one is left unchanged because everyone learns from one another and grows together.”

Foundation 3: Inclusive (appreciation)

The third foundation is focused on being more inclusive. By being more inclusive, we are led to a greater appreciation of other-culture’s wisdom, needs, and ways of working with conflict. And, to be more inclusive, we must turn our minds to choosing the most appropriate principles, processes, and practices of intercultural mediation for that culture.

We created this foundation to allow participants the opportunity to further develop their intercultural mindset and heart-set behaviours. A participant is to adapt their current core principles, practices, and processes to the interests, needs, concerns, and expectations of the other-culture they immersed themselves in.

By putting learnings and reflections into practice, participants are able to accurately identify and address communication and dialogue issues within an intercultural context. This can be achieved with case studies or role play exercises.

Authors Biography

Rory Gowers is a Master of Dispute Resolution (MDR), a Master of Education (MEd), an intercultural mediator, and a business strategist, residing in Greater Sydney, Australia. Rory has extensive international experience as a visionary business problem solver, and certified results coach. Rory’s mission is to facilitate a more respectful world by inspiring people and groups to transform business ecosystems with practical sustainable solutions with a vision to facilitate a place for all and peace for all in our time. Contact Rory via
Webpage: www.myRESPECTability.com
Email: rory.gowers@gmail.com
Mobile: +61 425 292 811
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/constructiveconflictsolutions

Milan Nitopi is an accredited lawyer and mediator with (soon) a Master of Laws in Family Dispute Resolution (LLM FDR). Milan has a passion concerning people, law, and resolution and he strives to equip people with skills for better communication and dialogue to address all kinds of conflict.
Contact Milan via
Email: manitopi@outlook.com
Mobile: +61 432 547 538
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/manitopi/

Motivating people to engage in conflict resolution services

Posted on 21/11/2024 by Milan A Nitopi

Samantha Hardy
This article has been republished and adapted with permission. The original publication can be located within The Conflict Management Academy.

When we look at how people typically promote conflict-related services, such as mediation, the services are often presented as a better option than other alternatives. In fact, this thinking is even found in the name “alternative dispute resolution”.

However, psychological research shows that using ‘scare’ tactics to try to motivate someone to do something tends not to work. This can be explained by what Wayne Hershberger (1986) first called “the law of approach and avoidance” and means that we tend to move towards pleasure and away from pain.

While you might think that telling someone about all the bad things that might happen if they leave their conflict unresolved would motivate them to move away from those bad things towards something better (e.g. mediation), the problem is that we have promoted our service by reference to the bad things, so they may well subconsciously move away from us!

When we feel an emotion that we find unpleasant, our brain’s natural response is to move away from the thing related to that emotion. In contrast, when we feel an emotion that we find pleasant, our brain is wired to approach.

However, in Shari Talbot’s book The Influential Mind, she explains that when we are trying to influence someone to do something, we have to be careful how we apply this logic. While we tend to move away from something that we see as unpleasant, we can also stop moving altogether if we are not sure about what we are moving towards.

Our brains are wired in such a way that anticipating a reward not only triggers approach, it is more likely to elicit action altogether. If you want someone to act quickly, promising a reward that elicits an anticipation of pleasure may be better than threatening them with a punishment that elicits an anticipation of pain.

In short – if we are trying to avoid something bad, we may move away from it, but we may also freeze if we are uncertain about what lies ahead of us. In contrast, if we know that something positive and rewarding lies ahead of us, we are more likely to actively take steps towards that better option.

This works for both words and images.

A study of crowd funding requests carried out by Alexander Genevsky and Brian Knutson in 2015 examined 13,500 online requests for funding. These requests were often for financial support for people needing expensive medical treatment, and counter-intuitively, the research found that crowd funding requests were more likely to raise money if they showed someone happy and well rather than someone sick in a hospital bed.

If you search online stock photo libraries for photos relating to “conflict resolution”, you will perhaps be surprised to find that many of the images do not illustrate “resolution” but rather show people in conflict.

Here are some examples:

As well as the law of approach and avoidance, we need to consider people’s need for a sense of certainty and control.

Warnings and threats limit people’s sense of control, so instead we need to emphasize what needs to be done to reap rewards – which increases their sense of control.

So, what does this mean for marketing a service like mediation?

Firstly, talk about the benefits that clients will achieve by participating using an approach framework. Don’t just talk about the bad things they will avoid; also talk about the good things they will gain so that they can manage risk and also know what they can work towards.

Secondly, emphasise the client’s opportunities to make choices and take control of their future.

Thirdly, use positive images on your website, that show how people will feel and behave after they have used your services.

Here are some examples:

Review your promotional material. If you want to make sure you are marketing your mediation services effectively, think about how much of your content is about what clients can avoid by engaging your services and how much of your content is about what clients can gain (rewards, pleasure) by engaging your services.

Think about the kinds of images you use. Consider whether those images show the problem a client wants resolved or how the client will feel after they work with you? Consider ideas that describe the outcomes people will gain from working with you and the associated positive emotions that those people will elicit.

Author Biography

Dr Samantha (Sam) Hardy is the Director and Lead Trainer of the Conflict Management Academy. Sam is an experienced mediator, conflict coach, and the founder of the REAL Conflict Coaching System™. She provides conflict support to managers and leaders across the world as well as professional development training, supervision and mentorship to mediators and coaches who work with clients in conflict. Sam is an accredited mediator under the Australian National Mediation Accreditation System (NMAS), a certified transformative mediator by the United States Institute of Conflict Transformation, and a certified narrative coach. She has been awarded Conflict Coach of the Year at the Australian Dispute Resolution Awards in 2022 as well as the Australian Resolution Institute Award for Service to Dispute Resolution in 2021 for her leadership and innovation in the field. Sam also publishes widely in dispute and conflict resolution, including Dispute Resolution in Australia, Mediation for Lawyers and Conflict Coaching Fundamentals: Working with Conflict Stories.