This blog post is motivated by my discussion with a friend about mediation. The friend was recounting her experiences of a divorce mediation, and her description reminded me of an article that I read many years ago by an academic and practitioner who I greatly admire – Dr Samantha Hardy, who these days is the Director of the Conflict Management Academy. The article is entitled “Mediation and Genre” and you can access it here – in the author’s own words, the objective of the article is to explain:

“why a conflict narrative based on the genre of melodrama tends to work against the resolution of the conflict and proposes tragedy as a more constructive genre for a conflict narrative. The paper also discusses how the mediation situation itself can constrain the possible genres that can be constructed in the process and explores the implications of those constraints for people in conflict and for the mediators facilitating a resolution.”

Sam first published this article in 2008 – now some 15 years ago. On re-reading it this week, I was struck by what an enduring piece it is. It also struck a chord with the friend who had recently been through the process as a participant.

Exploring the relationship between mediation and narrative, she explains how the genre of melodrama shapes conflict stories and in turn the mediation process itself. This is more than a purely academic exercise, as understanding melodramatic tendencies can significantly benefit both mediation practitioners and researchers. Most – or I would imagine, virtually all – practitioners would recognise what Cobb refers to as the rigidity and self-perpetuating nature of conflict stories – stories that each person uses to explain the relationship between the disputants, their actions, and the outcomes [link].

The Grip of Melodrama: How We Tell Our Conflict Stories

Western culture is particularly fond of the genre of melodrama, influencing how individuals perceive and articulate their conflicts – and in turn this has consequences for how we might mediate disputes. Sam uses the term “melodrama” not in the colloquial sense of over-the-top theatrics but rather as a specific literary genre characterised by:

• Moral Polarisation: The division of characters into ‘good’ and ‘evil’, with the storyteller typically casting themselves as the innocent victim and the other party as the villain;

• Heightened Emotions: Conflicts are often recounted with exaggerated displays of feelings, emphasising the victim’s suffering and aiming to provoke anger and judgment towards the villain; and

Sensationalism:  Disputants’ stories often  jump between events without a linear sequence of cause-and-effect, focusing instead on dramatic turning points and neglecting nuanced explanations.

She argues that individuals in conflict often become “told” by the melodramatic narrative, unconsciously adopting its framework to make sense of their situation. This leads to an oversimplification of complex issues, a focus on individual blame rather than systemic factors, and a rigid adherence to “dream justice” where the victim is vindicated and the villain punished.

Melodrama and the Mediation Process

The influence of melodrama extends beyond the conflict story itself, shaping the dynamics within the mediation process. These include through the duelling of competing narratives – with each party trying to position themselves in the role of victim and the other in the role of perpetrator. Unsurprisingly this hinders the exploration of shared responsibility and understanding. At the same time, melodramatic narrative often positions the mediator as an authoritative figure expected to discern the truth, dispense justice, and protect the victim.

Breaking Free from the Melodramatic Trap: Move Towards the Tragedy

Sam puts forward tragedy as an alternative literary genre that can offer a more constructive lens for understanding conflict. Unlike melodrama, tragedy acknowledges the complexities of human experience, allowing for:

• Complex Characters: Tragic characters are not purely good or evil but possess internal conflicts and inconsistencies, making their actions understandable even when flawed;

• Choice and Responsibility: Tragedy emphasizes the protagonist’s agency and the impact of their choices, even within constrained circumstances; and

• Acceptance and Growth: Tragic narratives recognize that conflict can lead to suffering but also hold the potential for self-awareness and growth, even without a “happy ending”.

Mediators can help facilitate a shift from melodramatic to tragic understanding by:

• Deconstructing Polarized Identities: Using irony and carefully crafted questions, mediators can help parties recognize the nuances and contradictions within themselves and each other;

• Highlighting Choice and Agency: By emphasizing the choices available to parties, even within difficult situations, mediators can empower parties to actively participate in shaping the outcome of their dispute;  and

Shifting Focus from the Past to the Future: Encouraging parties to acknowledge their suffering and learn from their experiences allows them to move beyond blame and consider possibilities for growth and change.

The Enduring Relevance of this research

This piece encourages us to move beyond simplistic “fairy tale” understandings of conflict and encourage us to reflect on the complexities inherent in human interaction – and in mediation in particular. By recognising and addressing the tendency towards melodrama, mediators can better assist parties to move beyond entrenched positions and engage in more nuanced, productive dialogue.

Sam develops the concept much further in her book Conflict Coaching Fundamentals: Working with Conflict Stories, and she developed the REAL Conflict Coaching System as a way to support people to re-write their conflict story into one that gives them more choice and agency.

From the Author ….

I took this blog post as an opportunity to contact Sam, and I asked her how her own thinking on mediation narrative has evolved since she wrote this piece. Here’s what she said ….

“When Solon Simmons (Professor at the George Mason University Carter School for Peace and Conflict Studies and Director of the Narrative Lab) mentioned in passing on LinkedIn that I featured in his new book Narrating Peace: How to Tell a Conflict Story, I assumed that I showed up in a footnote somewhere.  Imagine my surprise and absolute delight when I started reading it and discovered that not only has he named a turning point in narrative and conflict scholarship as the “Cobb-Hardy Pivot” (after one of my mentors Sara Cobb and I), he also described my article about mediation and genre as “one of the most important articles on narrative social science in the past century”!  Honestly, to say he made my day is an enormous understatement!  

It’s also so rewarding to know that the work I did in my PhD actually forms the basis of a lot of what I do today in my work with clients in conflict, and supports others to do the same. That long slog to the PhD finish line was worth it in the end!”