Samantha Hardy
This article has been republished and adapted with permission. The original publication can be located within The Conflict Management Academy.

When we look at how people typically promote conflict-related services, such as mediation, the services are often presented as a better option than other alternatives. In fact, this thinking is even found in the name “alternative dispute resolution”.

However, psychological research shows that using ‘scare’ tactics to try to motivate someone to do something tends not to work. This can be explained by what Wayne Hershberger (1986) first called “the law of approach and avoidance” and means that we tend to move towards pleasure and away from pain.

While you might think that telling someone about all the bad things that might happen if they leave their conflict unresolved would motivate them to move away from those bad things towards something better (e.g. mediation), the problem is that we have promoted our service by reference to the bad things, so they may well subconsciously move away from us!

When we feel an emotion that we find unpleasant, our brain’s natural response is to move away from the thing related to that emotion. In contrast, when we feel an emotion that we find pleasant, our brain is wired to approach.

However, in Shari Talbot’s book The Influential Mind, she explains that when we are trying to influence someone to do something, we have to be careful how we apply this logic. While we tend to move away from something that we see as unpleasant, we can also stop moving altogether if we are not sure about what we are moving towards.

Our brains are wired in such a way that anticipating a reward not only triggers approach, it is more likely to elicit action altogether. If you want someone to act quickly, promising a reward that elicits an anticipation of pleasure may be better than threatening them with a punishment that elicits an anticipation of pain.

In short – if we are trying to avoid something bad, we may move away from it, but we may also freeze if we are uncertain about what lies ahead of us. In contrast, if we know that something positive and rewarding lies ahead of us, we are more likely to actively take steps towards that better option.

This works for both words and images. 

A study of crowd funding requests carried out by Alexander Genevsky and Brian Knutson in 2015 examined 13,500 online requests for funding. These requests were often for financial support for people needing expensive medical treatment, and counter-intuitively, the research found that crowd funding requests were more likely to raise money if they showed someone happy and well rather than someone sick in a hospital bed.

If you search online stock photo libraries for photos relating to “conflict resolution”, you will perhaps be surprised to find that many of the images do not illustrate “resolution” but rather show people in conflict.

Here are some examples:

As well as the law of approach and avoidance, we need to consider people’s need for a sense of certainty and control.

Warnings and threats limit people’s sense of control, so instead we need to emphasize what needs to be done to reap rewards – which increases their sense of control.

So, what does this mean for marketing a service like mediation?

Firstly, talk about the benefits that clients will achieve by participating using an approach framework. Don’t just talk about the bad things they will avoid; also talk about the good things they will gain so that they can manage risk and also know what they can work towards.

Secondly, emphasise the client’s opportunities to make choices and take control of their future.

Thirdly, use positive images on your website, that show how people will feel and behave after they have used your services. 

Here are some examples:

Review your promotional material. If you want to make sure you are marketing your mediation services effectively, think about how much of your content is about what clients can avoid by engaging your services and how much of your content is about what clients can gain (rewards, pleasure) by engaging your services.

Think about the kinds of images you use. Consider whether those images show the problem a client wants resolved or how the client will feel after they work with you? Consider ideas that describe the outcomes people will gain from working with you and the associated positive emotions that those people will elicit.

Author Biography

Dr Samantha (Sam) Hardy is the Director and Lead Trainer of the Conflict Management Academy. Sam is an experienced mediator, conflict coach, and the founder of the REAL Conflict Coaching System™. She provides conflict support to managers and leaders across the world as well as professional development training, supervision and mentorship to mediators and coaches who work with clients in conflict. Sam is an accredited mediator under the Australian National Mediation Accreditation System (NMAS), a certified transformative mediator by the United States Institute of Conflict Transformation, and a certified narrative coach. She has been awarded Conflict Coach of the Year at the Australian Dispute Resolution Awards in 2022 as well as the Australian Resolution Institute Award for Service to Dispute Resolution in 2021 for her leadership and innovation in the field. Sam also publishes widely in dispute and conflict resolution, including Dispute Resolution in Australia, Mediation for Lawyers and Conflict Coaching Fundamentals: Working with Conflict Stories.